Twelve Days of Christmas
by twilover76
Summary: Bella is running from her past and Edward is deciding his future. The holiday season brings them together. Can two people from different worlds be happy together? AH/M
1. Chapter 1 Twelve Drummers Drumming

**AN: This is a Christmas story I put together because my twitter buddies, Kaia and Pam, were complaining about the lack of holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this little tale told from alternating Edward and Bella points of view. I will be posting a chapter a day, corresponding to the twelve days leading up to and including December 25. **

**Much thanks goes out to Julie, Pam, Kaia, and Stephanie, who all helped me out by pre-reading and encouraging me to keep writing. Also, there aren't enough words to thank my friends Perry Maxwell and Bookishqua, who both agreed to beta this at the last minute. They are a couple of the greatest people and authors you could ever meet. **

**All mistakes are mine and I own none of these characters. This will be the only author note for the story, unless there are major questions from reviews that need to be addressed later. There will be a mention of past verbal/physical abuse, but it will not be graphic. Please take caution if you are sensitive to this topic.**

**Have a happy and safe holiday season!**

* * *

><p><strong>Twelve Drummers Drumming<strong>

~*~_Edward_~*~

I really hated attending charity hand-out events. During every holiday season over the years, my father made sure my siblings and I participated in some way.

_It was noble to give back when we were so fortunate._

That saying had been hammered into my head since I was a kid. So there I stood, behind a makeshift buffet, scooping food I had helped cook onto plates for the homeless. The whole scene made me extremely uncomfortable, and I couldn't wait for the evening to end.

It wasn't that I didn't believe in charity or helping those in need, it was the hypocrisy inherent in this particular tradition. Three hundred and sixty-some days a year, the lot of us were out there making and spending our money, not giving two hoots about the less fortunate.

Now, taking a day to cater to them in some big show was supposed to correct our karma?

They stared at me with the same unease I felt, eyeing me with disdain, and I completely understood why. They saw me as some rich do-gooder who wanted nothing more than to pat my own back. That was the reason most of the other trust fund babies were here, preening in front of the cameras and newscasters present to broadcast our good deeds.

What a load of crap.

There was no legitimate reason for the news cameras to be filming the rich serving the poor, except for the fact the rich wanted everyone to know how wonderful and magnanimous they were. It certainly didn't matter to them that the cameras likely made the homeless feel even more small and insignificant… as if our presence and some turkey could solve all of their problems. Each time one of them met my eyes with a wary expression, I wanted to assure them I was aware of how much I looked like a dickhead back here.

"Eddie, quit slopping that food around. You just got a spot on my new Dolce blouse."

I suppressed a groan from the annoying voice breaking into my brooding thoughts.

_Tanya._

Another society princess here for her yearly duty, and a constant drain on my intelligence quotient. Our parents had deemed us a suitable match, and we were often pushed together at functions where I was required to be present.

"Why would you wear something that expensive to serve food anyway?"

I grumbled under my breath and took a deep breath, pushing my annoyance down and trying not to roll my eyes. Ladling up another heap of mashed potatoes, I lifted my head to glance across the table at the next person waiting in line.

_Sweet baby Jesus._

My heart skipped a beat as a pair of gorgeous brown eyes stared back at me. They were deep, dark, captivating, and pulled me in completely. And not only her eyes, her entire face was gorgeous. Her nose, her cheeks, her perfect lips.

I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. I couldn't do anything but stare.

The spoon fell from my hand and landed in the large vat with a splat.

"Shit!"

My cheeks heated in embarrassment as I tried to fish the spoon out of the potatoes. Whatever was going on had me flustered to a point beyond anything I'd ever experienced. Nothing and nobody had ever thrown me for a loop like this before. A giggle burst from the girl in front of me and my mouth turned up in a smile at the sound. It calmed me a little, and once I had hold of the utensil again, I glanced back at her.

Unfortunately, she hid her face from me behind a curtain of dark brown hair.

"You should probably get a double scoop for having to witness my clumsiness," I joked, hoping she would show me those magnetic eyes again.

She didn't say a word, only held out her plate. I shuffled my feet, trying to think of something—_anything_—to say to keep her here. The crowd in line behind her began making noises, agitated with my dawdling.

Eventually I sighed, putting the food on her plate. "Merry Christmas."

She immediately bolted to the next station, giving me nothing further after her giggle. No smile, no words, not even a nod of acknowledgement. In between serving others, I tried to keep track of her.

The girl with the prettiest eyes in the world.

She had maneuvered to a corner table and sat next to an old woman wrapped in a ratty shawl. The two of them were huddled together, although it seemed like only the old woman ate.

_Why wasn't Brown Eyes eating? Was she sick? Did she not think she could take enough for two?_

After the tenth elbow from Tanya to quit holding up the line with my staring, I shook my head at my obsessive thoughts. I was borderline stalking some poor girl who was obviously down on her luck. I forced myself to leave her alone. The last thing she needed was to deal with my neuroses.

But as the long line kept moving forward, my eyes continued to dart in her direction, as if she was tugging my attention with a string.

I could just go over there. Take her a plate like a gentleman. She had to be hungry.

_What could it hurt?_

As the line dwindled, I finally worked up the nerve. I took off the silly apron and Santa hat before grabbing a plate.

"Are you starving, Edward?" Tanya asked with a snort.

I ignored her, piling portions of everything available on the plate. The others chimed in with more rude remarks and questions, but I didn't care. There was only one goal in my mind: go talk to the girl.

When I finished with the plate and turned to walk back to their corner, my heart stuttered again. But this time it wasn't as pleasant as the first. _She_ was no longer at the table. My stomach churned as I glanced around the room, not finding her anywhere. The old woman still sat at the same table, and I decided to take a chance. I walked over, and she gazed up at me as I approached.

"Hello," I said, putting the plate down on the table in front of her. I sat down, leaving a chair between us and held out my hand in greeting. "I'm Edward."

She eyed my hand in speculation before meeting my eyes again. Her stare was intent as if she was sizing me up, and oddly enough, I found myself hoping she approved. She was dressed in rags, obviously hadn't had a bath—or a haircut—in years, and smelled like something I would throw out in the garbage. Despite all of that, I had a strange compulsion to be in her favor. For her to like me.

And I had no idea why.

Finally, she reached out and grasped my hand, shaking it with a firm grip. I waited for her to tell me her name, but she never talked. Our hands fell from each other and I pushed the plate closer to her.

"Um… I brought over another plate. There was… a girl sitting here and I… I wanted to make sure she ate something," I stammered, rubbing the back of my neck. I sounded crazy.

She smirked at me and shook her head, but didn't say a word. I sighed at the awkward silence, wondering if she even understood what I was saying.

"Well, I don't want this to go to waste. Can I wrap it up for you to take with you?"

Her eyes lit up, and I smiled at her eager nodding. That was something at least.

I picked the plate back up and took it to the kitchen. After putting the wrapped food in a bag, I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a few twenties, placing them to the side of the food before closing the bag tightly. When I returned to her table, I was disappointed to find Brown Eyes still missing.

"Here you go." I set the bag in front of her. "I hope you have a Merry Christmas."

Before I could turn to walk away, she gripped my wrist. She crooked her finger, enticing me to come closer, and I leaned down until we were eye-to-eye.

"Bella good girl," she whispered. "Bella went try get bed for night."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was such an idiot. Here _I_ was, thinking about the most captivating eyes I had ever seen, and here _they_ were, worried about staying warm in the freezing weather.

I _was_ an asshole.

I crouched down in front of her. "Do you have someplace to stay warm tonight?"

She nodded. "Have my place. Bella 'fraid there. Bad men no bother me. Scare Bella, though."

Her soft words echoed in my head, and an intense urge to protect the girl flared up inside me. Bella. Her name was _Bella_. I ground my teeth, thinking of the horrors she must have gone through daily.

"Do you know where she would have gone tonight?"

She shook her head and shrugged.

I ran a hand through my hair as I stood back up, unsure what to do next. "Thank you. Are you sure you have a place to go?"

She nodded and crooked her finger again. I chuckled and leaned down.

"I Ruby."

I grinned and held out my hand again and shook hers. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Ruby. Take care of yourself."

Tanya and the rest of the society crowd were long gone by the time I went back to the serving area. I stayed behind and helped clean, hoping maybe Brown Eyes would show back up. Eventually, I threw in the towel. It was nearing midnight when I finally emerged from the building.

The wind and snow blowing off of Lake Michigan were fierce, and I tightened my heavy coat around me as I walked to my car. The streets were desolate in the rundown area, and I was just thinking it probably wasn't the best idea to walk alone in the middle of the night in this part of Chicago when I was knocked down to the ground from behind. My breath whooshed out of me when I hit the pavement.

"Give me your money," a voice snarled behind me.

I turned my head and found a grimy man with dirty blond hair tied back at the nape of his neck. What caught my attention the most was the knife in his hand, gleaming from the streetlight.

I quickly scampered to my feet before he could stop me, and faced him. I was both taller and bigger, but I wasn't a fool. I didn't feel like dying on a dark street for a few bucks. My eyes stayed on him as I pulled my wallet out.

"Give me the whole thing," he said when he saw me grabbing the cash.

"Take the cash and call it a day," I sneered.

Fuck him.

He moved closer to me, the knife tight in his grip. "Give me the fucking wallet."

As I contemplated some defensive moves I could make to disarm him, someone flew toward us in my peripheral vision.

"No!" she screamed, jumping on the back of the grimy man.

My mouth gaped as they both tumbled to the ground. She was yelling, hitting him over and over with her tiny fists. The knife became dislodged when he crashed to the sidewalk, and I kicked it away.

"Bitch, get off me!" he yelled and threw her off his back.

He took off running, and I knelt down next to the girl. My breath caught for the second time tonight.

It was her.

Brown Eyes.

Her head had smacked the pavement when he threw her aside, and I gently brushed my fingers over the bump, glad I couldn't feel any blood. She shivered when I leaned in closer and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Are you all right?"

She opened her eyes and nodded.

"I need to get you looked at. You bumped your head pretty hard."

"No, please. No hospitals." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her request was clear. I didn't understand why, but wasn't going to argue with her out in the street.

She shivered again, probably from shock and the extreme weather. It was no wonder. The girl had no meat on her bones and was hardly wearing clothing appropriate for the freezing temperatures. Jeans and two cotton long-sleeves didn't cut it in a Midwest winter.

There was no way I was letting her out of my sight again, let alone leaving her here alone in the cold and dark. I put an arm under her knees and another around her shoulders, lifting her up as I stood. Her eyes fluttered closed by the time I made it to my car.

"Bella?"

She didn't rouse at all after I called her name a few times, and I wasn't sure if I should try to wake her or not. I needed some medical advice.

I placed her in the passenger seat and buckled her in before rushing to my side and blasting the heat as soon as the ignition turned. After pulling away, I dialed the number for my brother-in-law. I would attempt to abide by her wishes, unless Jasper told me she needed to be seen in a hospital.

"Hello?" his sleepy voice asked when he picked up.

"Jasper, I need you to come over to my place right now."

"It's the middle of the night, and I have a shift starting at six in the morning."

"This is an emergency. I need your help."

He must have heard the pleading tone of my voice. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

I hung up and glanced over at the brown-eyed beauty next to me. Her hand was ice cold when I reached to hold it in mine.

"I'm taking you home."


	2. Chapter 2 Eleven Pipers Piping

**Eleven Pipers Piping**

December 15

_~*~Bella~*~_

I had to be dreaming.

_It's warm and soft… smells clean and fresh. Feels like I'm on a cloud._

I didn't dare open my eyes. I couldn't remember ever feeling so serene in my life. I knew it had to be a dream.

Maybe I was in Heaven?

I remembered the beautiful man picking me up off the ground. I felt safe in his arms.

When was the last time I felt safe? I couldn't remember back that far.

It was possible I _was_ in Heaven and he was my guardian angel. I'd never seen such green eyes before, so it wouldn't have been surprising to find out God sent him for me. I smiled remembering the way those eyes gazed at me with care and the way he smelled and the way he held me close as he carried me. I even had images of him waking me up to ask weird questions: what was two plus two? What day was it? Who was the president?

_Did I dream that?_

A sound came from somewhere close, alarming me. I sat up quickly, ready to defend myself. Living in group homes and foster houses for most of my life had taught me to never let my guard down.

I swallowed down the bitter taste of adrenaline, my mind calming down after taking in the source of the sound.

It was _him_.

He was asleep in a chair next to the bed, half covered with a blanket. His head lay awkwardly against his shoulder at what looked to be a painful angle. He shifted a bit, but remained asleep, and I took the opportunity to observe my surroundings.

I was in a bedroom, although it was different than any I had ever seen before. The walls were painted in a light beige color, holding several different paintings and pictures which I wanted to give closer inspection. There were dark wood dressers, a vanity, and three different doors leading to who knows where.

One of the rules I had to live by was to always have an escape path ready, and I was uneasy not knowing which of those doors led out.

The large four-poster bed I sat in had the same dark wood as the rest of the furniture, the headboard elaborately and beautifully engraved. Two sets of windows were covered with blue drapes and I itched to look outside and determine if I could recognize where I was.

I jumped a little when I turned back toward my angel. His green eyes were open and focused on me. Although I wasn't particularly uncomfortable, I still pulled the covers back over me and clutched them under my chin.

I had let my guard down, and I truly hoped the gut feeling I had about him wasn't a mistake. The fact I still had all my clothes on was more than a few points in his favor, since he already had plenty of opportunities to take advantage if he'd wanted to.

I didn't think he wanted to. Not in any_ forcible_ way.

These last couple of months living on the streets had been very difficult, but I had been able to avoid being hurt by any of the men so far.

I hoped my luck hadn't run out.

"Hello," he said, calm and reassuring.

I didn't talk, not yet sure of what to say. Although my instincts told me he was nice, and I wasn't scared of him, I was still very confused as to why I was here.

"Don't be scared. I would never hurt you." He paused and glanced down at his lap while shaking his head. When his eyes met mine again, he gave me a small smile. "I'm Edward Cullen… and you're Bella?"

I nodded, unsure how he knew my name. My eyes fell to the bedside floor, where I saw my pack sitting against a bureau.

_Did he look through it?_

"I didn't look through your things," he blurted.

My eyes darted back to him, and for some reason I believed him… _trusted_ him. Trust was a hard thing to come by, considering what I'd been through before, and it surprised me I felt so comfortable this quickly.

_Edward. _

His name was Edward. I loved the sound of his name.

"Does your head hurt?"

There was a little throb, and I felt the bump, but it wasn't bad. I shook my head.

"I talked a little with your friend Ruby last night."

I grinned at the mention of Ruby. She was a sweet woman who I tried to help get food when I could. She had helped me in learning the layout of Chicago—places to go and places to avoid—and was really the only person I had talked to since arriving here.

The grip I had on the covers lessened and I tried to relax. He waited patiently for me to say something… anything.

I took a deep breath. "Where am I?" My throat was dry and my voice raspy, nothing at all like the melodic tones of his.

"This is my house," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I couldn't leave you in the cold." He sounded uncertain.

_Was he nervous?_

He probably didn't want me here. I understood. I was nothing, homeless, destitute. I couldn't take advantage of his decency any longer.

"Thank you for letting me sleep here last night. I should go." I pushed the blankets away and placed my feet on the floor.

He quickly stood and shook his head. "Um… no. No, please don't. You don't have to go. I don't want you to go."

I frowned at his rambling.

_He didn't want me to go? What did he want from me?_

I had nothing to give him.

"How about some breakfast?" he asked. "Are you hungry?"

I had learned how to ignore hunger pains, and I rarely paid attention anymore. I avoided his gaze, focusing down on my shoes. "I don't want to be a bother."

He had already done too much for me. I wasn't worth it.

"Please? You can keep me company. I hate eating alone."

The pleading in his voice made me peek up at him, and his hopeful expression did me in. How could anyone say no to that face?

"Okay."

"Yes. Okay… well, I'll just… hold on just a minute. I'll be right back."

I giggled at his eagerness and received a dazzling smile in response. He was so beautiful, it took my breath away. He turned and opened one of the three doors, jogging out and down the hall. I stood there waiting, not sure what to do. I didn't want to disturb any of his things, but curiosity won out.

I walked toward the wall where a framed portrait hung. A younger Edward was there in the middle, flanked by another boy and a girl, with an older couple standing behind the kids. It was a family picture.

The three kids must have gotten their dark hair from their mother, although Edward's had more red in it than the others. Edward also shared his mother's green eyes while his siblings had their father's blue. My heart ached from the way the father's hand was placed on his daughter's shoulder and the way all their faces were lit up with happiness. I could almost feel how much they loved each other, and I reached out toward the picture in longing.

Wishing.

Yearning.

"It's my family," Edward said behind me.

My hand fell back to my side and I turned my head to find him slowly approaching me. My eyes followed his pointed finger.

"That's my sister, Alice, and my brother, Emmett. Then my parents, Esme and Carlisle."

His voice was soft, yet my body tingled with excitement as he stood close to my side. I didn't understand why. I stood silent, not sure if he was waiting on a reply or not. When I turned to face him, he cleared his throat and quickly held out some clothes in his hand.

"These are for you. You'll probably be more comfortable in them. They might be big, but they were the smallest I could find."

I took the clothes from him, wondering why he wanted me to change. Then I remembered how much of a mess I was. I glanced down at my tattered clothes—actually the best I had left—and my eyes watered from embarrassment.

_Don't cry, Bella_.

I bit my lip and hid my face behind my hair, staring down at my feet and hoping he wouldn't see the tears I tried to hold back. He moved away from me, and I didn't blame him.

"Bella?"

I was afraid to glance up at him. I didn't want to find those green eyes full of disgust like everyone else's.

"Bella?" he asked even more softly, and I wished I could wrap myself up in his voice.

I gasped in surprise when his finger touched under my chin, tilting my face up toward his. His eyes showed no disgust, and I smiled in relief.

"You have the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen," he murmured.

My heart pounded as our stare lingered. It was so loud in my ears, I was sure he could hear it. He seemed to snap himself out of his thoughts because he backed away, shook his head and turned to open another door in the room.

"This is the bathroom. There should be everything you need if you'd like to take a shower… or bath… or wash up… you know." He paused and shook his head again. "Here are the towels and anything else will be in these drawers. I think Alice has kept it stocked in case of company."

_I was allowed to take a shower?_

I wanted to jump for joy and give him a hug. It had been a while since I had gotten to take a shower with hot water and shampoo. I usually had to wash myself in communal showers at shelters and there the water was lukewarm at best. Other than that it was small washings at public sinks. I did make an effort to keep myself as clean as possible, unlike some of those around me.

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to blurt out my overwhelming gratitude and make him think I was insane and throw me out before I could even turn on the water. Thankfully, he answered before I could ruin anything.

"Take your time, Bella. Just come down the stairs when you are done, and I'll be in the kitchen with our breakfast. Here are a couple of Tylenol, in case your head is hurting."

He placed two pills in my hand and walked out the door after I nodded, closing it behind him. When I knew enough time had passed for him to be out of hearing range, I let out a little squeal and looked around in excitement. There were so many different bottles of lotions and creams and soaps, and I opened all of them, taking a huge sniff of each scent. I didn't know any of the brand names from experience, but I wanted to try them all.

I opened the glass door of the shower and my mouth gaped. It was huge and already stocked with different shampoos and conditioners. And shaving cream and razors! I squealed again as I turned on the water, stripping down while the steam filled the room.

I had no idea how much time I spent under the hot water, but I felt like a new person when I finally stepped out. I combed my hair and dried it, brushed my teeth, and lathered cream over every inch of my skin. There were no words to describe how much appreciation I felt for my guardian angel.

My _Edward_.

I snorted at the reflection in the mirror. My skin was rosy from the hot water, but there was the same skinny, mousy, worthless girl in the glass. Edward wasn't mine, nor would he ever be. I couldn't confuse his charity for feelings of affection.

My eyes wandered to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor, and I cringed. No matter how luxurious my surroundings, it was imperative I didn't forget who I really was.

I was nothing. Nobody. A drain on society.

It was shameful to be taking advantage of Edward's kindness and generosity, but I would figure out some way to repay him. I looked from the clothes on the floor to the ones he gave me sitting on the counter. Picking up the sweatshirt, I brought it to my nose and was filled with his scent. For no other reason than that, I put on the socks, sweatpants, t-shirt, and sweatshirt.

I folded up my dirty clothes and placed the stack next to my bag, thinking I would change back into them after breakfast and before I left. I opened the door to the bedroom and peeked out into the hall. Not hearing any noise, I started down the stairs. The smell of bacon, coffee, and something baking filled my nose, and my stomach growled in anticipation.

Landing on the first floor, I came into an open space leading into a large room. There was a piano in the corner and two different couches, but my mouth fell open at the sight of shelf after shelf after shelf filled with books. I moved closer, my finger trailing along the spines reverently. Nothing had gotten me through the rough times of my life more than reading and being able to disappear into the make-believe worlds of my favorite characters. I had spent countless days sitting in bookstores, libraries, and quiet corners, reading anything and everything.

"Hey."

I jumped at the sound of his voice. He stood leaning in the doorway, watching me with a smile.

"Sorry," I said.

"For what?" he asked, his brow knitting together in confusion.

"I couldn't resist looking at your books."

He waved his hand and scoffed. "I'm glad you like it. This is my favorite room. Do you like to read?"

"Yes," I said with a nod, lowering my eyes nervously when he kept staring. "Thanks for the clothes."

I was wondering whether he was regretting offering them in the first place when his chuckle made me glance back up at him.

_Why was he laughing at me?_

"They're still way too big for you, but we can fix that later. Are you ready for breakfast?"

He waved me forward with his arm, and I followed him to the kitchen. I didn't understand what he meant about _fixing it later_, but was leery of asking too many questions. He led me to a small table off the kitchen where he had placed two settings, and my mouth watered at the sight of waffles and bacon. He even had both orange juice and milk poured for me.

He held out a chair, and he had to motion to it for me to understand he was waiting for me to sit down. I was embarrassed I didn't realize his intentions, but got over it quickly. A warm glow spread through my body as he pushed my chair in and sat down in the other seat. The effect his proximity had on my senses was a bit overwhelming and entirely new.

I didn't think I'd ever felt anything quite like it before.

"Please dig in. I'm not really much in the kitchen, but I try."

It was unclear what he meant, because it all looked perfect to me.

When I hesitated, he lifted the platter of waffles himself and placed two on my plate and two on his. Then three slices of bacon appeared. I didn't know how I was going to eat it all, but I wanted to try. It would likely be a while before I had another meal like this.

I lathered my waffles with the butter and syrup he plied me with and cut off a slice. When the flavor hit my tongue, I closed my eyes to enjoy it. A small moan of delight escaped me as I savored the bite. My attention was diverted by a loud clang, and my eyes darted over to find Edward staring at me, his lips slightly parted and his fork having dropped out of his still raised hand.

I chastised myself for poor manners. I must have appeared so foolish.

"Sorry, this is really good," I mumbled.

He let out a gust of air and shook his head. "No, ignore me. Please continue. I'm enjoying watching… err… I hope you like it."

After a few minutes of quiet eating, Edward broke the silence.

"How old are you, Bella?"

"Twenty. How old are you?"

"Twenty-five." He hesitated before asking his next question, and I braced myself for the inquiry I knew was coming. "How long have you been in Chicago?"

I took a drink of juice and a deep breath.

"Not very long… a few months, I think."

"Do you have any family?"

I shook my head, my hands trembling in my lap. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to tell him.

_Did he deserve to know the truths of my life?_

He had helped me more than anyone else ever had before, but I didn't want to blemish his perfect life with my sad tale. He sat there in silence, waiting for me to talk.

"My parents died when I was little. I don't really remember it. Then I spent my childhood and teens transferring between different foster homes and group houses."

"Where was that?" he asked, prodding me along when I went quiet.

I kept staring at my lap. "Mostly around Seattle."

"Wow, you got pretty far away. How did you end up in Chicago?"

There was no judgment in his eyes when I lifted my head, only curiosity.

"Hitch-hiked mostly. I had to get away." I couldn't tell him anymore than that. I didn't want him to know how pathetic I really was.

He nodded. "If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?"

"You mean for a job?"

"Sure," he said. "For starters."

"Maybe write or work around books," I told him, watching to make sure he didn't think that was stupid. His smile encouraged me. "I usually did well in school. I have a high school diploma."

"Ever thought about college?"

I chuckled at his question, although he was being sincere.

"I can't even get a job with no address, how am I supposed to go to college?"

"What if you _did_ have an address?"

My eyes widened at his question.

"If you had an address, would you want to go to college or go work somewhere?" he clarified.

I swallowed a couple of times. I usually didn't allow myself to dream of things that I knew were out of my reach.

"I… _ah_… both?"

His responding laughter made me pout a little.

_I would want to do it all!_

"Your pout is adorable."

I glared at him, but couldn't hold it. His eyes were bright and happy, and his grin made my insides melt.

"Well, it's true," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

His expression softened, and he leaned toward me. His hand reached out, and I thought he was going to touch me, but he pulled back. He clasped his hands together, propping his elbows up on the table.

"I have a proposition for you," he started, and I held my breath, wondering what he meant. "You may have saved my life last night, you know."

I opened my mouth to tell him he was crazy, but no words would come out.

"In return for your bravery, I want you to stay here until you get your school or work situation figured out."

I didn't know what to say. I was stunned. It was like I'd somehow stumbled into my own fairytale and this angel was waving a golden ticket in front of my face. Was this really possible? Was he serious?

By the look on his face, he was, yet it was so difficult to believe. Even the impossible thought that this might be real shifted something inside of me. I felt a tiny spark that had been missing for most of my life.

_Hope_.

He watched me closely, likely amused by my gaping mouth.

_Maybe I was still dreaming?_

"No, you're not dreaming," he said wryly.

_I must have said that out loud_.

"Tell you what… don't answer yet. Think about it and let me know tomorrow. You have to stay until then anyway." He stood up and began taking our plates to the sink.

Wait. What?

_Why did I have to stay until tomorrow?_

"What do you mean I _have_ to?" I asked, following him with more dishes from the table.

"Jasper said you needed to stay here for a day or two so I could make sure you didn't have a concussion," he said with a shrug, loading dishes into the dishwasher.

I put the butter and syrup away, running his words over in my head.

"Who is Jasper?"

"He's my brother-in-law."

I had a feeling he was teasing me somehow. "Why should I care about what he says about my head?" I asked, leaning back against the counter.

He strode over to the fridge, took out the syrup I had put in there and walked toward me. My breath caught as he stopped just inches away. One of his hands gripped the counter on my right; the other held the bottle on my left. He leaned forward, and I leaned back. Before I could find the words to ask what he was doing, he reached behind me to put the syrup in a cupboard. His eyes remained locked on mine the entire time. Finally, he pulled away and went back to the sink.

"Jasper's a doctor, and I had him check the bump on your head when I brought you here."

I was still tingling from head to foot from having him so close to me.

"You said no hospitals, but I had to make sure you were all right," he added.

I nodded, thankful he had abided by my wishes. I had no money for things like hospital visits, and I really didn't want to take any chances on someone in Seattle figuring out where I was… as remote as that possibility might have been. My mouth remained shut in hopes he wouldn't ask more questions about my past.

"Bella, I have one more question."

_No such luck_.

I turned my wary gaze on him as he put the last dish in to wash.

"What's your last name?" he asked.

I smiled at his question and he grinned.

"Swan."

"Miss Swan, would you like a tour?"

He offered his arm, and I took it. It amazed me that he didn't cringe away from me or treat me like a leper. He looked _at_ me and not _through_ me. He even asked me to stay. My mind whirled from everything that had happened.

I barely spoke while he showed me every room in his house. It was quite large for one person, but I didn't ask why he lived alone. When I told him I couldn't possibly take his room and make him sleep in a chair, he laughed and pointed out his bedroom down the hall from mine.

_My_ bedroom. He said that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss him or bow down to him.

He showed me where the laundry room was and helped me start a load, washing the clothes I arrived in and the sheets I had slept in.

The rest of the day was spent being lazy, as he called it. We took up residence in his favorite room, each of us staking claim to our own couch. He started a fire while I picked out something to read.

We read to ourselves, snuck glances at each other, and snacked on chips and sodas. I wouldn't call it a perfect day, but it was warm, I had a book, and beautiful company. It was as close to perfection as I had ever experienced.

Deep dish pizza was delivered for dinner, and I could barely keep my eyes open after two slices. Edward escorted me up to my freshly made bed and made sure I knew again he was just down the hall if I needed anything.

Safe and happy for the first time in forever, I dreamed of his green eyes and a world where I made a difference.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for the response to chapter 1! Hope you like Bella's perspective :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3 Ten Lords a Leaping

**Ten Lords-a-Leaping**

December 16

_~~~Edward~~~_

I had lost my mind.

Literally.

Bella took it and hid it somewhere in her knapsack. Instead of sugarplums dancing in my head, I had little Bellas stripteasing across my cerebral cortex.

Nothing else could explain why I had asked her to stay. My mouth had opened, but it was my dick that talked. The first sound of her giggle, the pull of her eyes, the innocent blush on her cheeks… I was a goner.

I had to have her. I had to protect her.

_Maybe she cast some spell on me?_

Actually, that sounded kind of hot.

It wasn't generosity that propagated my offer, it was desire. Simple charity would have been finding her an apartment and making sure she was set up to live her life. But I wanted her right here beside me.

In my house. In my sweatpants… and out of them.

Mother probably wouldn't call that noble.

I couldn't even count the number of times I had to restrain myself from jumping her and humping various parts of her body the day before. I was actually somewhat proud of myself for not giving in, but I knew my gentlemanly behavior wouldn't be contained very much longer.

Only the look in her eyes had held me back.

She wasn't scared of me, which was a relief, because I would never hurt her. Yet, her eyes watched me with such reverence, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. I didn't want that. Not at all.

I needed Bella to want me as much as I wanted her, not idolize me. I wasn't a hero. Not even close.

It was seven in the morning and I was lying in my bed and thinking of her down the hall, my dick harder than stone and begging me to go _check on_ Brown Eyes.

_Very heroic_.

I groaned and jumped in the shower to take care of my little… err… _large_ problem. Visions of Bella ran through my mind as I lathered up under the steaming water. Those plump lips, long legs, and pretty eyes already owned me. I didn't get much of a view of her body underneath my baggy sweats, but I was sure she had a great ass… or would as soon as I got her eating like a regular person.

One of my goals of the day was to take her grocery shopping. I had no idea what she liked to eat, and I didn't have much left in my kitchen. I had rocked out my most enticing dishes the day before… including pizza delivery.

The memory of her lips, wrapped around that slice of pizza as she moaned at the taste, made me think of other things she could moan about and wrap her lips around.

_I couldn't wait to hear how she moaned underneath me_.

On top of me.

Bent over the table.

Spread open on the piano keys.

Upside down.

_Fuck!_

I came hard, leaning against the shower tiles to catch my breath. She was going to be the death of me, and I had barely touched her.

That would have to change soon.

Momentarily relaxed, I was able to coherently think about our day as I dried off and got dressed. I felt a bit guilty for fantasizing about Bella like that before she got her bearings, but I brushed it off.

What she didn't know couldn't hurt me. _Heh heh._

I would be good to Bella, for her, if she would allow it. It was just a matter of getting her to that point. What I needed was a plan. A plan to make Bella want me.

I'd call it Mission: Make Bella Mine… or MMBM for short.

I chuckled and picked up my phone off the dresser when it beeped.

_Damn._

I scowled at the phone, wondering if I should just ignore it. I managed to evade their calls and texts the day before, but it was bound to end sometime.

"What?" I answered in annoyance.

"I'm coming over there at four with Jasper, and you both better be there," Alice demanded.

"No can do. We're going shopping." I smirked at myself in the mirror.

Her shriek of anger shredded half my inner ear.

"Fuck, will you calm the hell down?" I yelled. "I was kidding. Just don't be how you normally are. She's still skittish, and I don't want you scaring her off."

"Whatever. Jasper told me how you were drooling all over the poor girl. I'm coming over to make sure she's really okay and not there simply for you to get your jollies. Plus, I'm bringing clothes for her."

I could live with that. She needed more clothes.

_Or_ I could just keep her in mine.

Hmm…

"Edward? Did you hear me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you're bringing clothes… no jollies."

"What are you doing with her?"

I sighed and paced the floor. "Listen, I like her. Okay? Can you just give me a break?"

"We'll see," she said before hanging up.

I growled and threw myself on the bed. I wasn't kidnapping Bella, for fuck's sake.

What was the big deal?

I was trying to improve her life. Sure my intentions toward her were about ninety percent sexual and ten percent friendly at the moment, but things could change. I listened to her explain her living conditions and being tossed from home to home since her parents died and understood how rough she'd had it so far. She was smart but just hadn't been given any opportunities.

I was simply providing the opportunity.

If we slept together along the way—over and over and over again—that would only be a bonus. I _did_ like her and wanted to protect her. It wasn't a crime to also be attracted.

Most relationships started with a spark of attraction_. Right?_

It all sounded perfectly reasonable to me. Add to that the fact I would never leave Bella hanging, if it ended up we weren't compatible, I would make sure she left with the ability to pull herself up.

It wasn't my fault if Alice didn't agree. None of their opinions mattered to me much anyway. I had come into my trust fund as of my birthday this past June, and if any of my family had a problem with my choices, I could tell them to go pound sand.

Although, I hoped Alice hadn't told Rose yet.

My hand instinctively covered my balls as I thought about the reaction from my sister-in-law. She was merciless.

A sound from downstairs interrupted my internal rationalizing, and I got up to investigate. I found Bella in the kitchen, scrambling eggs and making toast, and I stood in the doorway for a minute, admiring the way she moved. She seemed so focused on the task, although her eyes swept from side-to-side occasionally, as if she was watching out for unfriendly fire. It surprised me that she hadn't noticed me behind her yet, but it was nice to be able to let my eyes roam over her without her trying to hide anything. She was still in my sweatpants, but her hair was damp and her skin rosy from a recent shower.

Bella in the shower… _fuck_. I forced those thoughts away before my large problem rose again.

"Good morning, Bella," I said softly, not wanting to scare her.

She still jumped a little at the sound of my voice. "Good morning. I… um… wanted to make you breakfast since you made mine yesterday."

Her voice was so low I had to move closer to hear her. She kept her head down as if she thought I would be upset.

"Thank you. I appreciate you thinking of me." I opened the fridge and pulled out juice, butter, and jelly. "Do you like to cook?"

She shrugged. "It's okay. I used to have to cook a few nights a week in the group homes, and then after… well, I cooked every night."

Her voice faded, and it was clear she wasn't going to expound on that last point. I wondered if she would eventually let me in, but I wasn't going to push her too fast, too soon. I felt comfortable with the information I had about her past.

After setting our drinks and condiments on the table, I walked up behind her. I clenched my fists so I wasn't tempted to touch, but I did lean down and sniff her hair.

"I'm sorry," she said.

_What could she possibly be sorry about?_

I was the one who needed to apologize for being a creeper.

"For what?" I asked, moving to her side so I could see her face.

"I… I wasn't sure… I took another shower this morning. I'll figure out some way to repay you for the shampoo, soap, and hot water." She bit her lip.

Of all things, she was worried about hot water.

I chuckled and brushed a piece of her hair from her face. "Let's get something straight right now. If you stay here, you can take ten showers a day. You can live in the bathtub if that's what you want to do. Although, I hope you come out occasionally to talk to me." I winked, happy to hear her giggle. "Please don't think twice about things like that and don't apologize. I want you to be comfortable here."

Her eyes widened and she turned her attention back to the eggs. I grabbed a couple of plates and brought them over so she could scoop our portions out.

"This is kind of how we met," I said, nodding at the plates in my hand.

Her eyes slowly slid up to meet mine while her face flushed. The pink color tinted her cheeks and neck, and I wondered how far it traveled down. Just one more thing about Bella I was eager to investigate.

I carried our plates over to the table, and she followed with the toast. It was very easy to be around her, and I'd never felt that way before. Usually, I couldn't get my female overnight guests out the door fast enough.

"Have you thought any more about my proposition?" I asked, jumping in feet first. I wanted to hear her confirm she was going to stay. I loaded my toast with butter and jelly as she squirmed in her seat and avoided my gaze.

"I just don't understand why you are doing this. What are you getting out of it?" She kept her head down and hid her face from me.

"You saved me from a knife-wielding maniac. You think my life isn't worth a bedroom I never use? I may be a little offended."

Yeah, I wasn't above using guilt. Sue me.

Her face shot up, and her mouth opened in surprise. "No! That's not what I meant. I… um… you're worth _way_ more than that."

"Two bedrooms then?" I joked. "I may have to cut you off beyond that, unless you want to stay in mine."

"No…I…ah," she stammered, clearly flustered.

I suppressed the strong urge to laugh when her blush surfaced again, and wondered what it was that she was embarrassed about. I didn't want her to flounder any further, so I took her hand in mine and rubbed her knuckles with my thumb.

"Can I be serious with you for a second?"

She nodded, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"It's not a bad thing to take help when it's offered. I know exactly what I'm doing, and it's not out of obligation or duty. Sometimes our lot in life is determined by things out of our control, and other times we change our own fates. All I'm offering is an opportunity to change your fate.

"You see all this?" I waved my other arm around. "I didn't come by this home or any of my things through my own devices. I was born into it. Let me help you out."

She bit her lip again, and I really wanted to reach out and release it from her teeth. I waited as she thought over my words.

"Okay," she said finally.

My heart started beating quickly. She was going to stay, and I couldn't dampen my excitement.

"But _only_ until I can get a steady job," she added.

I'd let her believe that for now.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I threw the package in the cart, then grabbed two more just for the hell of it and tossed them in. If I didn't watch it, I was going to be bald from pulling my hair out in frustration.

"Edward, no! I don't need those." Bella reached for one of the boxes of pasta.

I growled and put my hand over the macaroni before she could swipe it. "The pasta stays, and if you don't stop fighting, I'm going to buy this entire aisle of food."

She was driving me batshit crazy. The girl would not let me buy anything. It was obvious from the way she looked at certain items that she wanted them, but every single thing was a fight.

I didn't know if I wanted to sedate her or fuck her against the meat counter.

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn she'd been trained by Alice. My eyes didn't leave her as she turned and walked ahead. I followed with the cart, throwing in random things and eyeing her ass.

Her clothes were a wreck, but I thought it was endearing. She had put on her ragged—but clean—jeans and topped it with one of my button-down shirts. I would miss seeing her in my clothes, even if she had to roll up the sleeves and tie it into a knot at her waist.

I caught up to her when she stopped to check out frozen vegetables. I shook my head and focused on the other side containing desserts, breads, and pizzas. She needed calories. Her mouth gaped as she watched me pile in box after box of assorted frozen goodies. I walked over to her and placed a finger under her chin, lifting it up so she closed her mouth. She didn't say a word as I continued on through the store.

I ended up buying more than I intended, but at least we were stocked for a while.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"I'm scared to meet them," she admitted finally after an hour of my questioning why she was so nervous and agitated.

When I told her Jasper and Alice were coming over, I thought she was going to faint right there in front of my eyes. Her face went ashen and she started weaving from side to side. I had to put my arms around her and drag her to the couch, making her stay still until she calmed down.

"You have nothing to worry about."

She shook her head. "But they're your family. What are they going to think of me being here? I don't belong here."

"You _absolutely_ belong here. You saved my life and I want you here. Don't forget it."

If there was going to be any chance of her being comfortable enough to want me, she'd have to first accept she belonged. I had to assure her that her home was here.

With me.

Alice and Jasper picked that exact moment to show up, and I groaned when Bella jumped a mile high at the sound of the doorbell. Alice was probably going to give her a heart attack, and then I was going to have to kill Alice. At least Jasper would be around to sort out the bodies.

I crouched down in front of Bella, gripping her shoulders and looking into her eyes. "Breathe, Bella. I promise everything will be all right."

I leaned in close, and her breath hitched when my nose slid along her jaw. I breathed in her scent as my mouth slowly made its way to her ear.

"I promise," I whispered.

I pulled away, satisfied with my method of distraction as she sat there stunned. I quickly jogged to the front when the bell rang again, throwing open the door in annoyance.

"Impatient, are we?"

Alice sniffed and walked right past me. I hurriedly followed her, Jasper trailing behind.

I rushed ahead and stood next to Bella, who had risen on her shaky legs. "Bella, I'd like you to meet my sister, Alice, and her husband, Jasper."

"Hello, Bella," Alice said, giving her a long once-over.

I cringed, knowing it would make Bella self-conscious. Her eyes fell to the floor, just as I expected, and I glared at Alice while putting my arm around Bella's shoulders. Alice smirked at me and let go of her hand, moving to the side so Jasper could introduce himself.

He dropped the bags he carried in and held out his hand. "Hi, Bella. I'm Jasper."

I didn't worry very much about Jasper making her uneasy. He was a genuinely nice guy and wouldn't hurt a fly. Bella looked up and shook his hand, smiling a little in response to his wide grin.

"Well, now that introductions are over, Bella come with me," Alice said, grabbing the bags in one hand and Bella's arm with her other.

"Wait," I started, immediately cut off by Alice.

"No. This is girl time. We're going upstairs. Stay put!"

I grimaced at Bella's panicked face, but ultimately I knew my sister wouldn't treat her badly. I watched as Alice led her up the stairs.

"Don't worry about it, she'll be fine," Jasper said, turning on a basketball game.

I stood there running my hands through my hair until he shoved a beer in my face and forced me into a chair. We drank and pretended to watch the game, sitting silently. I counted the minutes until the beers he kept supplying me with started kicking in. Eventually, when it hit the three-hour mark, I decided enough was enough.

I stood up—ready to go curse out Alice—when their laughter rang down the stairs. Bella had giggled in my presence before, but I'd never heard her as joyful and happy as she sounded then.

"We're going to make some dinner, you boys keep watching your game," Alice said, dancing by me quickly.

Bella wore a pair of slacks and a sweater her own size, smiling and blushing at me as she followed Alice into the kitchen. My heart pounded when her fingers trailed along my arm as she passed.

_What was that?_

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

After Alice and Jasper left, I still had no answers about what transpired up in her room. Bella and Alice acted like best friends throughout dinner, and Jasper wore a smug smile. I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I tried to quell my curiosity and let things ride, suggesting we watch a movie before bed.

"Ooooh, Rudolph!" Bella shouted and clapped.

I grinned at her, selected the old movie off the cable guide and placed the remote on the coffee table before flipping off the lights. She sat in the middle of the couch in front of the flat screen, and I took a chance by sitting down next to her. Her body tensed a little as our thighs touched, but she glanced over and gave me a small smile.

"I remember seeing this as a kid, before my parents died."

I nodded, watching her face glow from the light of the TV and put my arm around her. She didn't hesitate to place her head on my shoulder and lean into me. I felt like a huge wall had collapsed between us.

"I watched it with my parents, too," I said, earning another soft smile.

I really wanted to kiss her, but didn't want to ruin the moment and make her uncomfortable. This was only going to work if she was ready to reciprocate when I made my moves.

"Edward?" she called out as Rudolph covered his nose with dirt.

"Hmm?" I closed my eyes, enjoying the way she smelled and felt against me.

"Why don't you have a Christmas tree?"

"I don't know. I guess I never thought about it with just me here. Do you want one?"

She didn't answer, so I took it as a yes.

"We'll go get one tomorrow."

"We don't have to—"

I cut her off, putting a finger over her lips. "Shhh… movie."

I pointed at the screen, smiling when she huffed at me. I brought the finger that had just touched her lips to my own.

Soon. _Very _soon.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, you got into Edward's mind a bit more. What do you think?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4 Nine Ladies Dancing

**Nine Ladies Dancing**

December 17

_~~~Bella~~~_

"So, what do you do?" I asked him.

The question had been in the back of my mind since I'd been absorbed into Casa Cullen. Edward never talked about a job or about working at all. All I knew was that he had a lot of money… like royalty or something.

"I'm a professional student." He stopped in front of a tree for a moment before turning his nose up at it and pulling me toward the next one. "I have two master's degrees, English lit and business, and keep taking classes to find my calling. I don't know what I want to do. Maybe teach. Maybe get into some of my father's businesses." He shrugged. "Nothing's really grabbed my interest enough so far to be sure it's what I want to devote myself to."

He held my hand as we walked through all the different pine trees, and I tried to keep the grin off my face. Despite his somewhat confusing words, I felt special in his presence. Like I really mattered. I wanted to lock these feelings away deep inside, so nobody could ever take them from me.

"In other words, you don't work either."

He halted our progression and turned toward me. "Miss Swan, are you suggesting I'm a slacker?"

I giggled at his raised eyebrow and mock offense. Before I knew it, he'd released my hand to reach for my waist. His tickles sent me into a spasm of laughter, and I tried to run away. I got no more than a few feet when his arms came around me from behind. He pulled my entire body close as his breath fanned against my neck. I shivered with excitement, an ache igniting from within.

"I've got you," he whispered in my ear, his lips lingering on my tingling skin.

I wanted more than anything to turn my head and press my lips to his.

I needed it.

But he pulled away before I had the chance, clearing his throat and trying to inconspicuously adjust his pants. I bit my lip and pretended to check out another tree.

_Was it possible he was attracted to me as I was to him?_

I didn't know what to do if he was. The last time I was with someone had ended in disaster. I left Seattle because of Jake.

I snuck a glance at Edward, who was perusing the other side of the tree. Just the sight of him made me weak in the knees. He was tall, lean, had the face of a model, and hair that begged to have hands run through it… and probably had many times over the years.

It was hard not to notice how he was admired by every female we passed. He could have anybody he wanted. I was kidding myself to think he had any interest in me.

His offer to me was out of kindness, even if he claimed differently. He was a good man, doing a good deed. My situation equated to him bringing in a stray cat out of the cold, feeding it and keeping it warm until spring.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked in his sinful voice, moving to stand next to me.

"This one looks good," I said, brushing over the pine needles. I wasn't about to tell him my real thoughts.

"It sure does," he said, staring right at me.

I swallowed and looked down, willing my heart to stop beating out of my chest. Those green eyes did weird things to my body.

"Um… how are we going to get a tree back to your place?" I avoided his intense stare so I wouldn't melt into a puddle.

"_Our_ place," he corrected, before shrugging his shoulders. "I'll have them deliver it. We still need to get lights and ornaments and whatever else is supposed to go on it."

He seemed rather confident, but the sign in front of the nursery didn't say they delivered.

I shouldn't have been concerned. Edward slipped a roll of cash to an employee with a truck, who agreed enthusiastically to deliver the tree in a few hours.

"Do you always get what you want?" I asked after getting back in the car.

"Usually." He grinned and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Sometimes it takes a little longer than I hoped, but it's worth it in the end."

I remained silent for the ride to the department store, thinking over his words.

_Was he talking about me? Did he want me?_

Alice suggested something to that effect when we were in my room the day before, but it was hard for me to believe. I had been scared at first to be alone with her. Her eyes were judgmental when we were introduced, and I was afraid she would see how unworthy I was and talk Edward out of our arrangement.

Edward was beautiful, inside and out. He had a great family, wealth, confidence. I had nothing in comparison.

But she immediately put my mind at ease when she shut the door, grinning at me and giving me a hug. She told me her actions downstairs had been a test for Edward, and he confirmed her suspicions. I gasped when she revealed her theory of him already being at least partly in love with me, even if he didn't know it, and his protectiveness of me providing proof. She only patted my hand and clucked knowingly when I assured her it was impossible.

My obsessive thoughts were interrupted when the car stopped and Edward pulled me into the store. I couldn't believe my eyes when we walked in. It was like a wonderland, and I didn't care if I looked silly gaping at all the beautiful displays and decorations.

I searched my memories, trying to remember a time in my life when I'd decorated a tree. I knew I must have when I was a small child with my real parents, but I couldn't conjure the images. After they died, there had never been any celebrations or holiday frivolity.

My fingers stroked the porcelain face of a tree angel, lit up brightly and flapping its wings. I squealed when an electronic train zoomed past my feet. I marveled at the shiny gold and silver ornaments in every design imaginable.

Edward stood back and watched me, likely shaking his head at my exuberance. It couldn't be helped; I felt like I was in another dream. When I turned one of the boxed ornaments over to check the price, Edward placed his hand over mine immediately.

"No. No prices. Get everything you want."

"But—"

"Please, Bella. Don't you realize I would pay twenty times what's on those tags to see this look on your face?" His eyes shone with sincerity, and I pushed aside my natural inclination to deny myself.

I straightened my shoulders and smiled at him. "Okay, but you have to get things you like, too."

We spent the next hour playing, teasing, and selecting items to decorate the tree and house. The spark of hope that started with his proposition kept growing larger and larger inside me every second I spent with him.

Hope for putting my past behind me.

Hope for a brighter future.

Hope for possibilities.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

The kid delivered our tree right on time and even helped set it up in the stand we purchased. He left with a grin on his face and another wad of bills. I shook my head at Edward handing money out like candy.

He had carols playing on the stereo and a fire blazing as we stood admiring the tree placed next to the piano. The scent of fresh pine filled the room and energized me. I ran over to the couch, eagerly taking ornaments out of boxes so I could put them on the tree.

"Bella, we have to put the lights on first," Edward said with a chuckle, stopping me before I stuck the first ornament on.

"Sorry, I didn't know that." I put the ornament back in the bag, sighing when his smile turned into a frown.

The last thing I wanted was my past to put a damper on our fun.

"You've never had a tree before, have you?"

I shook my head. "Not that I remember."

He swallowed, and remained silent. I turned away before I could see the pity emerge on his face, angrily tearing into another bag and taking out the packages of lights.

I was mostly mad at myself.

What was I doing here?

He had everything in the world and I was only bringing him down. Just like Jake.

I didn't want his beautiful life to be marred by my ugly past and that was exactly what I was doing by staying here. I was selfish, though, becoming dependent on the way being near Edward made me feel alive.

His hands gently grasped mine, stopping my unwinding of lights. "Let me help."

I met his eyes, filled with kindness, and returned a small smile. I nodded and released my grip on the lights.

We worked together, stringing so many sets of lights I lost count. Each twinkle between the needles and branches freed my heavy heart a little more. Edward kept the conversation light as we wound upwards, finally allowing me to climb a step-ladder to attach the porcelain angel on top.

"I'm going to hold on and keep you steady," he said, placing his hands on my hips.

"Is it on straight?" I asked. He didn't respond, so I turned my head and looked down at him. "Edward?"

His head shot up and I could have sworn he had been staring at my butt.

"Huh?"

"Does this look good?" I pointed to the angel and he turned his attention to it.

"It might be leaning a little to the right."

I tilted it the other way. "How about now?"

"Too far, go back right."

I adjusted it again. "Okay, now?"

"Go back the other way again."

I groaned in frustration and glanced back down at him. "Edward! You aren't even looking up here!"

He grinned at me and shook his head. "Sorry."

I rolled my eyes, before grabbing a handful of pine needles and dumping them on his head. I laughed when his mouth dropped open in surprise.

"That's what you get," I told him.

His expression turned mischievous, and my laughter erupted when his tickle torture started.

"Stop! I'm going to fall off," I gasped, teetering on the edge of the ladder.

His tickling stopped and his hands remained firmly around my waist.

"I'd never let you fall, Bella."

I knew he was talking about more than my balance, and I reached over to brush a piece of hair back from his forehead. He believed his words, but I pulled back, not ready for the intensity of the moment. It wasn't his responsibility to _save_ me.

"Now the ornaments?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

He burst out in laughter and picked me up off the ladder in a bear hug. I squealed when he spun me around in circles.

"Yes, now the ornaments," he said, reluctantly putting me back down on my feet.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

We ate greasy Chinese food together on the couch, studying our decorating masterpiece. I couldn't get enough of the chicken lo mein and fried rice… not to mention the eggrolls. I'd never had an eggroll before and I believed I was in love.

The best part was Edward's arms around me, trying to show me how to hold the chopsticks. There may have been some exaggerated flailing on my part just to keep him close, but he didn't need to know that. I leaned against him, full and happy, and he hummed in my ear as he held me tight.

"I think your blue ball needs to be moved a little to the left," I said, critiquing his ornament placement.

"What?" he croaked out loudly, before breaking out in laughter.

_Did I say something wrong?_

I thought over my words and flushed from head to foot. I pulled away and buried my face in a cushion, completely mortified.

"Bella, come here," he said, reaching around me and pulling me back to him. He was still chuckling at my embarrassment.

"I can't believe I said that." My words were muffled as I spoke with my face pressed to him.

His chest vibrated from lingering chortles, and I playfully swatted his arm in protest.

"If I have blue balls, it's entirely your fault," he teased.

"Edward!" I shrieked, smacking him harder.

His hands moved up and down my back in gentle strokes, long after his laughter died down. The warmth flowing through my body was no longer due to embarrassment, but from being snuggled up against him. The rhythmic beat of his heart comforted me… encouraged me.

I didn't think as my hand tentatively traveled up his chest, exploring the feel of his torso through his shirt. His muscles quivered under my touch as I brought my hand back down, and I lifted my head to watch his face.

His eyes were closed, mouth partially opened. My tongue slipped out, wetting my lips as if anticipating his taste.

"Bella," he breathed out.

My hand stopped, and I pulled back, uncertainty flooding my mind.

_What was I doing?_

_You have no right!_

Even if he _was_ interested in me, I had no business getting involved with him in this way. I would only bring him down. Hurt him. Ruin him.

I'd been here before.

I untangled myself from his arms and stood quickly.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," I mumbled, trying to ignore the hurt expression on his face before I fled toward the stairs.

He called my name, but I didn't turn around. I couldn't let him see the tears already streaming. The door was shut behind me as soon as I ran into my room.

_My room_.

But it wasn't mine… not really. It was a mirage. It wasn't real.

I grabbed the t-shirt Edward had given me to sleep in the night before and curled up with it on the bed. His scent overwhelmed me, and I sobbed into the pillow for hours, knowing what I really wanted was always going to be beyond my grasp.

* * *

><p><strong>Check out the pretty story banner made by jarkin33 on my profile page.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5 Eight Maids a Milking

**Eight Maids-a-Milking**

December 18

_~~~Edward~~~_

She wanted me. I _knew_ she did.

But something was holding her back.

I'd stopped at her door the night before, her sobs tearing at my heart. My soft knocks weren't answered, but I sat vigil outside until her crying stopped… just to be sure she was all right.

There was no way I could leave her completely alone. I had a feeling even though she had pushed me away, she didn't like being alone.

And I was only scratching the surface of what I knew about this beautiful girl. The girl who had flipped my world upside-down.

Spending the day laughing and playing with her had changed my perception of our relationship to twenty-five percent friendship and seventy-five percent lust. I'd never laughed so much with a female before, but she still held so much inside.

Whatever she was keeping from me was hurting her still. Apparently, I needed to find out more about her past.

I decided MMBM needed a new strategy, so I called for reinforcements.

"Alcohol," Emmett said after I'd explained the whole situation.

"_Alcohol?_" I yelled. "That's the best advice you have for me? To get her liquored up? And then what? Take advantage of her when she's drunk? I don't know why I even called you in the first place."

"Hell no, douchebag. Don't take advantage of her. Do you want me to come over there and beat the shit out of your skinny ass?"

I clenched my fist around the phone and gritted my teeth.

"Then tell me what the alcohol is for," I said, seething.

"It opens the vault."

I rubbed my face in frustration. The only vault I knew of was the mental chastity belt I'd put around Bella so I didn't rip her clothes off.

"It will loosen her tongue. Get her talking. But, bro, you better be prepared to hear some things you might not like."

"I'm not expecting sunshine and roses."

Bella obviously had demons in her past, but maybe with help, she could get over whatever haunted her and truly move forward.

_Was there anything she could say that would make me not want her?_

_Murder?_ No, I'd still want her. I might watch my back, though.

_Burglary?_ I wondered if she wore an all-black catsuit, and if she'd be willing to in the future.

_A foot fetish?_ Odd, but I'd work around it.

"Whatever… I'm just saying to brace yourself. Don't be a dick if she says something you don't like. You are the one digging into her past. I'll gladly rearrange your face for her if you fuck this up."

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you even care? You don't know Bella."

"Dude, I know it all. Alice was over here yesterday and told us how you have her locked up and shit. Did you really go all caveman and try to protect her from our little sister?" He paused before laughing at me.

Of course Alice was starting shit. I wondered if she had told our mother yet. I hadn't received any hysterical calls, so I assumed the answer was no.

"Speaking of protection, you better protect your nuts when Rose comes over there tomorrow to get Bella," he added.

"_What?_" I asked, my voice rising an octave or two.

"She's on the warpath and I held her back yesterday. Luckily for you, today she has some appointment, but she and Alice are taking Bella somewhere tomorrow. I don't know… some girl thing. Listen, I have to jet. You're welcome for the stellar wisdom."

He hung up before I could respond to his inanity.

Actually, it ended up being perfect timing. Bella walked down the stairs, dressed in jeans and a fitted top. I swore she looked so much healthier than she did even five days before. I was right when I guessed about her fantastic ass.

I had radar for perfect asses on women… assdar.

My eyes remained glued to her backside as she walked into the kitchen. I wondered if it would freak her out if I knelt down behind her for closer inspection, since she hadn't been too happy with my ogling during our tree decoration.

"Edward?"

I blinked and looked up at her face when she turned around.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I asked if you would like some oatmeal."

"Oh… yeah, sure. If you're making some already." I walked over and hugged her. "Good morning."

_How would she respond to me after last night?_

She stiffened and patted my arm a couple of times before maneuvering out of my hold.

I guess I got my answer.

I stood to the side and watched her make breakfast, contemplating my next move. Whatever had made her turn away the night before was still shadowing her.

"Is there anything you'd like to do today?" I asked, uneasy about what her answer would be.

"Yeah, I was hoping you might be willing to take me to a few bookstores so I could fill out applications?"

My heart dropped. Her stipulation for staying was until she got steady employment. She seemed eager to leave.

"Really? I wanted to show you around Northwestern… see if you like the campus. Maybe you could enroll in a couple spring classes?"

"I need to get a job, Edward. It isn't right for me to stay here like this." She sounded defeated and resigned.

"What happened last night? We were having so much fun and then you got upset about something."

She turned her face toward me with pleading eyes. "Let's not talk about it. Just don't pay attention to me."

I thought she mumbled that she wasn't worth it at the end, but she hid her face from me again. Our conversation wasn't going at all like I planned. It looked like MMBM plan B would have to be initiated tonight.

_Bottoms up._

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

Bella's melancholy mood permeated the car all day. I took her to several bookstores and showed her a bit of campus, however nothing I did or said made her truly laugh and smile as she had before.

"How about Mexican for dinner?"

She shrugged and turned her head to look out the window. "Get whatever you want, I'm not very hungry."

I wasn't having that. I had just gotten her eating normally; regression would not be a good thing. After pulling into a local Mexican restaurant, I led her inside. Her eyes lit up a little at the festive atmosphere.

"Try this dip," I told her after they brought the queso and chips to our table.

Her eyes widened at the taste, and I suppressed the urge to raise my arms in victory. I made sure she had a continual supply of chips and dip in front of her, even if it did ruin her appetite for dinner.

MMBM plan B started when I ordered margaritas for us. I may have panted when her lips sucked on her straw, but the result was her being a little happier when we left than when we arrived.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I willed my mind to focus. My plan to get Bella drunk and talking was not going so well. We were camped out in the living room and I was up on the tequila shot count ratio six to one.

_Who knew she'd be so good at blackjack?_

"Hit me," one of the Bellas in front of me said.

I flipped a card over for her.

Twenty-one.

_Fuck my life_.

"Damn," she said.

I blinked. "Wha?"

"I busted. Twenty-two."

I looked down at her cards again and started counting on my fingers and toes. I smiled when there were two more points left over.

_Yes!_

I poured a shot for her, getting most of it in her glass, and licked my lips when she drank it down and bit down on the lime slice afterwards.

_Would she taste like limes if I kissed her?_

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to keep playing?"

"I definitely want to play with you."

She giggled for the first time today, and I grinned. I loved that sound.

_Focus!_

_Not on her tits!_

"Yeah… um… how about a different game? You're killing me here."

I struggled to my feet from my spot on the floor and stumbled over to the bar. I grabbed two more beers and plopped down on the couch next to her, handing her one.

"Sure. What do you want to play?"

I wouldn't take the bait of her loaded question. At least it was loaded in my mind.

"How about truth or dare?"

_Yes, I am a man and older than fourteen… thank you very much_.

It was all my brain could come up with at the time.

"All right. You go first."

"Truth or dare, Bella."

"Um…. dare."

I rubbed my hands together like some lame villain in a movie. "Two more tequila shots for you, my dear."

Her mouth opened in surprise, and I couldn't help thinking about what I'd like to put in there.

"Hey, that's not fair! You're cheating."

I shook my head. "Nope, you took the dare. There were never any alcohol specifications made."

"Fine, but I'll remember this."

I gulped and decided not to take any dares. After watching her take down two more shots, I felt we were on more even ground.

"Truth or dare, Edward," she said, with a slight slur.

"Truth."

"How many girlfriends have you had before?"

"You mean like relationship… long-term stuff?"

She nodded her head.

"Well, I had a steady girlfriend in high school. We broke up when we left for college. Then I was with Irina for a year and Kate for about eight months at Dartmouth. Since I've been back in Chicago, I've only been in a committed thing with Carmen, and that was two years ago. So, four I guess."

"But you've slept with a lot more," she prodded.

_Dangerous territory_.

"Um… I've dated around, I suppose. I guess I've been looking for someone special."

She blushed, but I wasn't sure if it was from my words or from the liquor.

"Truth or dare, Bella."

"Truth, definitely. I can't drink any more shots." She was already leaning against my side.

It was my chance. I took a deep breath.

"Why did you leave Seattle?"

She shuddered against me, and I pulled her tighter, lifting her onto my lap. She didn't fight me as her head fell back against my shoulder. I admired her perfect exposed neck, wanting to kiss every inch. Her voice grabbed my attention before any inappropriate licking began.

"When I left the last group home, I was eighteen and had just graduated high school. I'd been dating a guy who graduated the year before me. We decided to get an apartment together, and I got a job working as a library clerk. He was a part-time mechanic. We didn't make much, but it was enough to get a small place.

"After a month or two, things started to change. He was angry all the time and loved to lash out at me. It seemed like he was never happier than when he was yelling at me. Nothing I tried to do made him happy, and he let me know it. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship, but I didn't feel like I had any options." She hiccupped, and I rubbed her arms. "I tried calling my old caseworker from when I was in the foster system, but she wasn't there anymore. I had nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. I've always been shy and kept to myself… it was hard making friends being tossed around so much."

She shuddered again and took a long breath. My thoughts were dark, and I almost didn't want to hear what I knew was coming next. I wrapped my arms around her as tight as possible, hoping I could give her a little bit of comfort for whatever she still had to say.

Maybe I was trying to comfort myself as well.

"Close to a year passed and the situation didn't get any better. No matter what I did, he called me trash, told me I was ruining his life. It's hard not to believe it when it's hammered into your head all of the time. My tears only seemed to make him angrier. I would occasionally think about picking up and leaving, but I had no money. There was literally nobody else to turn to. I started to hide a little bit from every paycheck, just enough so he wouldn't notice, waiting for a good time to escape."

She took a few deep breaths, and I brushed her hair from her face.

"One day he came home and went nuts. He threw the dinner I made against the wall and then he… he…" Her words paused with a sob.

I nuzzled her face with mine, keeping my firm embrace around her. I would have done anything to take away her pain. Maybe just having her talk about it—to me—would help.

"What did he do?" I asked softly.

"He hit me. _Hard_. Over and over. Punching and kicking. It hurt so much I couldn't even breathe. When I finally came to my senses and tried to fight back, his hands gripped around my neck. He threatened to kill me, and… and something snapped inside. I knew he would do it, and although I may have preferred death to his anger at times… I… I didn't want to die." She choked down a sob and shuddered again, holding on to my arms as if for support. "When he fell asleep, I left with nothing except a few changes of clothes, my backpack, and about thirty dollars I had managed to keep from him. I had to get out of Seattle. If he ever found me, he would kill me."

If I ever found him, _I_ would kill _him_.

My fists clenched involuntarily, but I relaxed them when I noticed. The last thing I wanted Bella to see was my anger. She sighed as my fingers stroked her sides soothingly.

"Thank you for telling me." I breathed in the smell of her hair. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah," she said, sounding afraid of my response.

_Did she really think the truth would make me think badly of her?_

"I think you are the bravest woman I know."

She snorted in response. Her low opinion of herself needed to be worked on. Rose was going to be all over that.

"You are. You pulled yourself out of a hopeless and dangerous situation. You survived. You saved me."

_Maybe in more ways than one._

She turned her head, staring into my eyes. "Truth, Edward. Why do you want me to stay?"

"I like you. You make me laugh. We have fun together. I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world," I answered in all honesty.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

I would have laughed at her absurdity, but she sincerely didn't see it. I thought I had been pretty obvious in my attraction to her.

"Yes. It's often hard to remain gentlemanly in your presence… I mean _difficult_." I hoped she wasn't scared off at my body's reaction to having her sitting on my lap.

She giggled again.

"Bella, truth. Why did you jump on that maniac's back with the knife the other night?"

She bit her lip and turned her face. I nudged her chin back toward me, and she took another deep breath.

"After I left Ruby, the shelter I usually went to was full already. I found her coming out, and she told me what you did. I guess I waited around to get one more glimpse of you." Her fingers traced over my face lightly, her eyes reverent. "I thought maybe you were an angel. A guardian angel. I couldn't let him hurt you."

A twinge of guilt hit me. I didn't want her to think of me as a guardian angel. I wanted her to desire me—the man—flaws and all.

"I'm not an angel. I'm no saint or hero or idol."

She shook her head. "You're just modest."

It hurt me to do it, but I lifted her off my lap and set her beside me. I grabbed the bottle of tequila and poured myself another shot, continuing to drink until I drowned my libido in liquor.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope this answers some questions about Bella's past. Let me know what you think.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6 Seven Swans a Swimming

**Seven Swans-a-Swimming**

December 19

_~~~Bella~~~_

I woke up with a pounding headache, sprawled over Edward like a blanket. I was relieved we were both fully clothed as we lay there on the couch. Sure, I had thought about being with him in every way possible, but I'd like to remember it the morning after.

His snores echoed in my head, and I lifted myself off him as gently as I could. I didn't want to wake him up, but I had to take some aspirin before my brain combusted.

As I gulped down pills and water, I started piecing together our conversation from the night before. I cringed as I remembered telling him about Jake.

_Stupid, Bella_.

He pulled away from me after my confession, just like I knew he would.

_Why did I tell him all of that anyway?_

Tequila. Too much tequila.

My stomach lurched thinking about it, and I covered my mouth, hoping to keep the aspirin and water down. I was never going to drink again.

I noticed the time and realized Alice would be here soon to pick me up. She had convinced me to go shopping with her, because her friend bailed and she didn't want to go alone. I tried to tell her I wouldn't make a good shopping partner since I knew nothing about fashion, but she waved off my doubts and assured me we would have fun.

_Did the Cullen siblings have some supernatural power that enabled them to always get their way?_

I stood on unsteady legs and trudged up the stairs. By the time I had showered and dressed, I felt almost normal again. Shouting voices greeted me as I came back downstairs.

"I'm going to _kill_ Emmett!" someone screeched. "And you just _had_ to follow his idiotic advice. Serves you right to be so hungover!"

"Please make it stop," Edward moaned.

I peeked around the corner into the kitchen. Edward stood near the sink, his hair standing up in all directions, and he held a plate over his groin region. A beautiful blonde woman stood in front of him, poking his chest with her finger while Alice watched gleefully from the side.

"You men are such fools, always thinking with your dicks. I should have been a lesbian!" the blonde yelled even louder.

I wondered if she was an old girlfriend of Edward's.

"Ahhh, my ears. Rose, stop please," Edward pleaded. "I'll do whatever you say if you just shut up. I can't take it anymore."

_Rose_.

Rosalie… Emmett's wife. Alice had told me about Rose the other day. I assumed her presence meant she was also going shopping with us.

_Why was she so upset with Edward?_

My spying was no longer covert when Alice saw me and cleared her throat. All three of them set their sights on me, and I fidgeted under their surveillance. Rosalie threw one more glare at Edward before walking over to me with her hand outstretched and a smile.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Rosalie. You can call me Rose."

I shook her hand. "Hi."

I was a bit tongue-tied because I was quite sure she was the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen. My inadequacies were sure to be magnified standing next to her. But her eyes weren't harsh, and she gazed at me with warmth and curiosity.

"Okay then," Alice said as she walked over. "Bella, are you ready to go?"

"She hasn't had any breakfast," Edward argued, pushing past both Rose and Alice to stand in front of me.

His eyes were bloodshot, and I wanted to laugh at his hair, but all I felt were the tingles when he grabbed my hand to hold in his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. "You don't have to go with them if you don't want to."

"It's fine. I feel all right now. I want to go." I wasn't sure if I really wanted to, but I didn't want to disappoint Alice.

He nodded. "Do you want something to eat? I can make some eggs?"

My queasy stomach rumbled, and I gave him a small smile. Rose interjected before I could reply.

"We'll take care of her."

He turned and glared at her, but she glared right back. I didn't understand what was going on.

"I'll be okay," I told Edward so he wouldn't worry.

He really was too kind to me. I was glad my word vomit about Jake hadn't turned him completely away.

He let go of my hand and nodded before walking into the den. "What time will you be back?" he asked from the next room.

"Later," Alice replied. "I'm sure you can entertain yourself today."

He growled as he walked back in. Even though he tried to hide it, I saw him hand something over to Alice. He came back over to me, hugging me to him.

"Have fun today, beautiful," he whispered in my ear. "Thank you for talking to me last night."

My heart raced from his words.

_What did it mean? Was it possible telling him the truth hadn't ruined everything?_

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I learned quickly that it wasn't a shopping trip for Alice. It was a shopping trip for _me_.

My protests, pleading, and arguments fell on two sets of diamond-studded deaf ears. They herded me into dressing room after dressing room, making me try on so many clothes, I couldn't even keep track. It all became one big blur of cashmere, silk, and satin. They somewhat abided by my wishes not to go overboard with buying, but they weren't happy about being held back. I could only shake my head in disbelief when they appeared wounded from only carrying one bag out of a store instead of ten. It was grateful for their charity, but I already felt so indebted to them and Edward for everything they'd done for me.

_How did you tell people to stop giving you things you didn't deserve?_

"Time for a re-fueling break," Alice announced finally, pulling me into a bistro.

We sat down, and my weary body sighed in relief. They kept me smiling with their jokes and antics while we ordered, probably because they could tell I was nervous. I'd never dined in any place so fancy before and didn't want to embarrass them.

In Seattle, a five-star restaurant for me would have been McDonald's.

The conversation turned serious after we were served our lunches.

"Bella, be honest with me," Alice said. "Are you comfortable staying with Edward? You know if you aren't, there are other options. If you don't want to be there, we can get you another place."

_Other options?_

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"I mean exactly what I said. I know you accepted this proposal of Edward's to stay there until you found work, but I want to know _your_ feelings about it. You shouldn't feel trapped. We'll get you an apartment if you'd rather live alone, or you could stay with either of us if you are uncomfortable with Edward."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not uncomfortable. I like Edward." I felt my cheeks heat. "I… I just feel like I'm taking advantage of him. He's too generous."

Rose snorted. "Edward is thinking with his little head like _all _men do. He wants to get into your pants."

My face went up in flames as I shook my head. "No, it's not like that. He feels sorry for me. I'm just like a stray cat." I wasn't sure they understood my analogy.

"Oh, really? Do you see any other stray cats at his place with perky tits and a nice ass?" Rose asked.

My eyes popped out of my head, and I glanced around to make sure nobody heard her. Fortunately, none of the other patrons were paying any attention to us.

_Did Edward want me?_

Something clicked in my head, and I recalled a blurry memory of him saying I was beautiful the night before. Then he'd called me beautiful again this morning… but that was because he was worried.

I couldn't deny I desired him, but I couldn't act on it. I would only hurt him in the end.

"It doesn't matter anyway. Even if what you're saying is true, he knows the truth now and doesn't want me that way."

I was sure they were only looking out for Edward by suggesting I might want to get away from him. They knew it would be bad for him to get too tangled up with me.

Rose reached across the table and took my hand, surprising me. "What makes you think that?"

I shrugged. "He pulled away from me after I told him about Jake last night."

"Is Jake the reason you left Seattle?" Alice asked.

I had told her a little about my past the other day, but not about Jake.

I nodded, looking down at my lap, and before I knew it, they had pulled the entire story out of me. _Without_ alcohol.

It was odd how I felt a little better after telling them the truth about me. It was as if some weight was taken off my shoulders.

"And you said Edward pulled away from you after you told him this?" Rose asked.

I thought hard about the night before, trying to remember the sequence of events through my tequila haze.

"He told me he thought I was brave," I added.

"You are," Alice agreed as they both nodded their heads. "What else did he say?"

I racked my brain. "Oh! I told him I thought he was my guardian angel. Then he told me he wasn't an angel or a hero. That's when he moved me off his lap."

"Huh. I guess he's not as much of a prick as I thought," Rose mused.

"He's not a prick at all!" I said, coming to his defense.

Rose just smiled. "Oh, Bella. Believe me, Edward Cullen can be a selfish, egotistical, moody bastard at times. He likes to always get his way, and can be a real shit when he doesn't." She paused for a minute and tapped her chin with her finger. "He may have met his soft spot, though."

Alice nodded. "I'm proud of my brother."

"I don't understand. What are you guys talking about?" I asked.

"There you are sitting on his lap in prime position, looking at him with adoring eyes, and he doesn't make a move," Rose said. "Bella, he felt guilty. He doesn't want you to think of him as an angel because he isn't. He wants you to lust after him like he does you."

I thought over her words. It started to make sense. He had been into it when I touched him that night after putting up the tree.

"Are you attracted to him?" Rose asked.

_Um, yes_.

My face evidently said it all because they both broke out in laughter.

"It's not right though," I mumbled.

"And why not?" Rose asked indignantly. Her eyes were fiery, and I was a little afraid to tell her my reasons.

"Rose, don't scare her," Alice said. She looked at me. "Why do you think it's not right to like Edward?"

I twisted my hands nervously in my lap. "I'll only bring him down. I have nothing… no family, no home, no job. I don't want to ruin him like I did Jake."

"Now you listen here," Rose started. "You need to get your head straight about this Jake business. That fucking asshole will be lucky if I don't fly out to Seattle and remove his testicles with a nail file. He's a monster, and _nothing_ he said to you was true. He's the worthless one, not you. He's a loser and deserves to die for what he put you through."

She finally stopped to take a breath. Our server glanced over at her raised voice but was at least smart enough to stay the hell away during her tirade. He may have winced at the nail file to the testicles comment.

"As for Edward," she continued. "From what I've seen and heard so far… I'd say you two just may be perfect for each other. You offset his douchiness quite nicely. Esme may quibble a little at first, but once she gets to know you, she'll love you. I know from experience."

I glanced between Rose and Alice. Alice nodded and gave me a sheepish smile.

"Mother can be a bit snobby at times, but deep down she has a good heart," she added.

"What she means is that Esme can be a raging bitch," Rose interrupted. "But it doesn't last long. I don't come from money like all of them. I met Emmett when I was working as a part-time waitress. His car had broken down alongside the road, and I pulled over and popped his hood." She grinned and wagged her eyebrows.

I giggled and she continued.

"Esme pitched a bit of a fit at first. She wanted Emmett engaged to some society slut. What was her name again?" she asked Alice.

"Victoria."

"Oh yeah… _Victoria_. You should have seen old Vicki's face when Emmett paraded me around the next big function." Rose broke out in laughter and Alice joined her. "Anyway, the point is that Esme got over it after seeing how happy Em and I were together. The same will be true with you and Edward."

My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt a little panicked.

"But… _no_… it isn't like _that_. I mean… Edward… him and me… _no_," I stammered.

"Bella, he has it bad for you." Alice rubbed my arm. "Don't doubt it. He's my brother, and I know him better than anybody. The only thing stopping him is you. I guarantee he's going to pounce once you give him the go-ahead. If you want to be with Edward, all you have to do is take him."

"And you can knock out the first meeting with Esme at the Christmas ball in a couple days," Rose said.

"Wait. _What?_"

"What did you think all those gowns that you tried on were for?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrow.

I felt sick. I couldn't appear at a ball. I didn't know the first thing about schmoozing, dancing, elegance.

"Don't worry. We'll have your back. You'll be fine," Alice assured me. "Edward wants you there with him."

I tried to forget my anxiety and concentrate on the man. My mind whirled with possibilities.

_Me and Edward?_

_A couple?_

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

It was late by the time I returned, but Edward was waiting for me. He grabbed the piles of bags from Rose and Alice, basically kicking them out. I giggled when they said their hurried goodbyes and left.

"Did you have fun today?" he asked, pulling me into a hug.

I nodded and hugged him back. I forgot everything for a moment and let my body take control. My hands slid up his back, and I filled my nose with his scent, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

In this moment, I believed _anything_ might be possible.

His embrace tightened, and he pulled me up, my toes practically leaving the floor.

"You smell so good," he said softly in my ear.

I shivered. I needed this.

_Him._

"Edward."

His grip slacked, but his arms stayed around me. I reached into my pocket while he pulled back to gaze into my eyes. I grasped the sprig of mistletoe and raised my hand above both of our heads. He looked up at it and then back down at my face, his eyes sparkling as he grinned.

"Kiss me."

No sooner had the words left my mouth than his lips were on mine. The gentle caresses took my breath away, and the mistletoe was all but forgotten as I dropped it and wrapped my hands around his neck, asking him for more.

He moaned in pleasure, pressing his lips down firmly. His arms tightened around me again as our kisses deepened. I opened my mouth, desperately wanting to taste him, and my body tingled as our tongues slid together.

It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

I didn't know how long we stood there kissing, but I knew I never wanted it to end.

* * *

><p><strong>There will be a teaser for chapter 7 on fictionators dot com<strong>


	7. Chapter 7 Six Geese a Laying

**Six Geese-a-Laying**

December 20

_~~~Edward~~~_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My hand crashed down on my alarm.

_Why was I up at six in the damn morning again?_

Oh yeah. I had to get to the store.

I jumped out of bed and took the quickest shower ever. Once I changed, I ran down the stairs and wrote a note to Bella in case she woke before I got home.

The clerk at the store must have seen the desperation on my face because he kept his smirks to a minimum when I requested every piece of mistletoe they had.

MMBM was moving along swimmingly, and Bella herself had laid down a new path.

I loved whichever genius originally made up the mistletoe-kissing rule. I needed to send the kind soul a thank you card and maybe a fruit basket.

With enough mistletoe to hang from every doorway in my house, I whistled with glee as I drove back home just thinking about kissing Bella again. Having tasted her lips the night before only made me want her even more, and I didn't think that was possible. It was a crime we'd spent almost a week together _without_ kissing.

I hadn't wanted to let her out of my arms last night, but eventually said goodnight so she could go to bed.

I had to talk my dick down from the ledge. He was still ignoring me.

Patience had never been one of our virtues, but I was willing to try it with Bella.

_To a degree_.

Perhaps now that I knew she was amenable, I would try to speed things along, and that was where the mistletoe came into play. As soon as I walked in, I started hanging plants from every available flat surface. I considered weaving that shit together to form a canopy over the whole house but didn't have the time.

"Edward? What are you doing?"

I looked down at Bella from the top of the ladder.

_Hanging mistletoe from the light fixtures wasn't wrong… was it?_

I decided to go with my signature grin and see if it worked. She raised her eyebrow and shook her head before walking to the kitchen.

_Hmm._

I put away the ladder and the last bagful of greens before joining Bella in the kitchen.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, loving the way she relaxed against me when I embraced her from behind.

I brushed her hair to the side so I could nibble on her neck, and she moaned and reached up to run her hand through my hair.

_Didn't she know what her sounds did to me?_

I pulled her tight, pressing my body into hers. Her skin tasted so good as I sucked at the base of her ear.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What do you want for breakfast?" she asked, taking her hand from my hair.

_Your legs wrapped around my face_.

"Whatever you want, beautiful."

I grabbed bowls and milk while she nabbed boxes of cereal and spoons… we worked well together.

"What's on the agenda today?" she asked after our breakfast was served.

I wanted to play under the mistletoe, but I was up for anything.

"I thought maybe we could stop by a couple more bookstores, and perhaps a library or two," she added.

_Except that_.

I pouted a little and rubbed her foot with mine. "Are you that eager to get away from me?" I didn't care if I sounded like I was whining.

She sighed. "It's not about getting away from you. It's about doing something. I can't just sit around here all day mooching off you. I need to get a job, make some money."

I wanted her here all day, though. I liked having her here with me. Maybe I could talk her into being the Julia Roberts to my Richard Gere? My beck-and-call girl.

_Yes, I'd seen it. Get over it._

She'd probably hate that idea, though, with the whole hooker aspect and all, so I kept it to myself.

"We can go check out some more if you want," I finally replied.

I would indulge her until I could figure out a plan to make sure she stayed. MMBM would have to be taken to a whole new level.

My thoughts were interrupted when she shouted out in surprise.

"_What_ in the…" She bent over, looking at side of the table. "Edward, why did you tape mistletoe here? Did you plan to kiss me under the table?"

"Yes."

Under it. On top of it. Around it.

She squealed and laughed when I left my chair and pulled her down to the floor with me.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

We were getting ready to leave, having been delayed by a couple rounds of mistletoe mischief, when the doorbell rang. Bella stared at me with wide eyes, and I shrugged, not having a clue who it was. When I opened the door, my mother stood on the other side.

_Fuck!_

"Mother… um… what are you doing here?" I kissed her cheek in greeting.

"Do I need an invitation to stop by and visit my boy?"

_Yes._

"It's just surprising. You rarely come here."

_Actually, what the fuck was she doing here? Did Alice or Emmett spill the beans?_

"I was in the neighborhood and wanted to drop by and talk. Is this a bad time?"

_Yes, I just had Bella pinned against the wall_.

"Well, I was about to head out."

"It won't take long." She walked in and glanced around. "Why do you have mistletoe hanging from your chandelier?"

I swallowed a couple of times, peeking over to where Bella had stood a minute ago.

_Where did she go?_

"Oh, just messing around. What did you want to discuss?"

"Well, I ran into Tanya yesterday at the salon, and she told me you hadn't called her yet about escorting her to the Christmas benefit tomorrow. You promised me you would attend. Did you change your mind and not tell me?"

"I'm planning to go," I said.

"Shouldn't you have given your date more notice? It's not very polite to call her at the last minute."

_I'd rather take the guy who tried to stab me than Tanya_.

"I'm not taking Tanya. I already have a date."

Her eyes widened, and she frowned. "Really? _Who?_"

"Bella Swan."

She furrowed her brow, trying to put a face with the name.

_Good luck with that one, Mother!_

I kept my chuckles to myself.

"I don't recognize that name. Do I know her?"

"I doubt it. She's relatively new to Chicago."

"How did you meet?"

I contemplated how much to tell her, not wanting her to go postal with Bella in the house.

"We met at the homeless shelter the other night when I did the charity food service."

She pursed her lips and stared at me with narrowed eyes, and I could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

"Hmm… it's surprising Tanya didn't mention you cozied up to another girl when she was there with you."

"First, she wasn't there _with_ me. We both happened to be there. Second, you really need to get the idea of Tanya and me together out of your head. It's _never_ going to happen."

I'd rather saw my own arm off with a butter knife than let that wench anywhere near me or my dick. We both shuddered at the thought.

"So, I'll meet this Bella tomorrow then?" she asked, ignoring my statement about Tanya.

"Yes, Mother. Tomorrow."

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"She won't hate you," I assured.

_At least not for long_.

Bella shook her head, not believing a word out of my mouth. We were on our way to another Barnes & Noble, while I tried to calm her nerves. She'd been upset since my mother left the house.

I reached for her hand over the console, feeling the now familiar charge of energy every time I touched her. I was determined never to be without it again.

I craved it.

_Her._

"Edward, what about there?"

I looked in the direction she was pointing, seeing a small bookshop I'd never noticed before.

_Huh_.

It was in an upscale section of retail shops, very close to home. I turned the car around and found a parking spot.

"It's cute," she said as we approached the front, walking hand-in-hand.

"Yeah, it's nice," I agreed.

I loved the location. It would be perfect to have her close, but I had major doubts they were hiring. It appeared to be a relatively small-scale operation.

I followed Bella inside, finding an elderly woman behind a counter and nobody else in sight. I smiled weakly, imagining our inquiry would prove futile.

Bella did her spiel, and the lady answered as I expected her to in that they weren't hiring, but my attention was grabbed when she explained that she and her husband owned the store. I gave the place a thorough inspection, a brilliant idea forming in the back of mind.

"Is your husband around?" I asked nonchalantly.

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand toward the back. "He's back there somewhere, probably watching golf or something," she muttered.

I wanted to inform her it was the end of December and there likely wasn't any golf on, but held my tongue.

I leaned down and gave Bella a chaste kiss. "I'll be right back, okay? Why don't you look around? Pick some things out that you like. Only five shopping days left."

She shook her head at my grin and returned to talking with the shop lady. I turned and followed the rows to a back hallway, chuckling when I found the husband in his very own man cave, complete with recliner and big screen TV. I knocked lightly on the wall and he turned his head toward me.

"No public restrooms," he said with a grunt.

I laughed, liking him already. "I'm not here for that. I understand you're the owner of this place?"

"Unfortunately," he grumbled. He leaned toward me like he wanted to tell a secret. "Worst damn decision I ever made. Wife wanted a bookstore, and I wanted to retire. Guess who won?"

I pulled up a chair and sat down with an understanding nod. "Is it a money drain?"

"Sucked me dry. I've tried to sell it a few times, even knowing it'd break her heart, but nobody's biting in this market. Not even selling at a loss. These small shops have no chance with those huge superstores."

If I'd had a mustache, I would have begun twirling it between my fingers.

"If I may, I think I might have a proposal that will solve both our problems," I started.

He held his hand up and looked me over from head to toe.

"If you're in here trying to sell me encyclopedias or some other nonsense, you can just leave right now."

Yeah, I liked him a lot.

"No. I'm not here to sell you anything. I'm here to buy. I'm Edward Cullen." I watched the recognition wash over his face.

My family name could get me just about anything I wanted in Chicago—actually in a lot of cities, but especially Chicago. It was understandable considering my family owned half the city. He met my outstretched hand and shook it.

"Max Tolsen."

"Max, can I show you something for a second?"

He nodded and followed my lead, standing up and walking back to the hallway. I furtively peered around the corner, finding Bella at the other end of an aisle, flipping through a novel.

"You see that girl?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"She's the future Mrs. Edward Cullen, she just doesn't know it yet." I quickly pushed him back toward the cave before she saw us.

I didn't know it yet either, but my mouth apparently did. I guess I was all in now.

He snickered and raised his eyebrows. "Women make you do strange things."

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess they do. _Bella_ needs a job, and _I_ need her job to be flexible and close."

"You want to buy this store to give your girlfriend a job?" he asked in disbelief.

I shook my head. "Not quite. I'm willing to be a co-owner with you. I'm willing to pay half your initial investment right now. And how about we add the option for me to buy you out fully in say five years? Or if you and your wife decide to retire early, I could buy you out then as well."

His jaw dropped open, and I could see the dollar signs in his eyes.

"Then your wife… what's her name, by the way?"

"Laura."

"Okay, so then Laura and Bella can run this place and split time or hire others… however they decide to do it."

His eyes fell to his lap for a minute before he lifted his head again with a frown. "You realize you're not going to make a profit, right?"

"Yeah, I kind of got that impression." I chuckled.

It was obvious the store was unprofitable now, but I was a fucking Cullen. I'd figure out a way for it to make money eventually. Change the displays, add some marketing, maybe put tables out and add free Wi-Fi for an internet café… there were a lot of ideas running through my head.

He shook his head and grinned. I felt better knowing he was at least attempting to be honest with me.

"Well, you have a deal, Mr. Cullen. I'm not sure exactly what to say except thank you… and maybe you're a little crazy."

"Probably more than a little… and it's Edward," I told him. "I will have my lawyer draw up a contract and bring it to you in a day or two. Will that work?"

"Absolutely."

He shook my hand again, and I gave him a card with my number and told him I'd be in touch.

"She's a lucky girl," he said as I walked toward the door.

I turned around and shook my head. "Nope,_ I'm_ the lucky one."

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"I'm going to embarrass you," she said.

"No you won't. Look, watch again." I repeated the steps to the waltz I was trying to teach her.

Her eyes were focused and her lips pursed as she tried to mimic my feet in time to the music. I couldn't resist any longer, pulling her close to me and lifting her up to swing in my arms.

"Besides, it's all in the leading," I whispered in her ear. "I plan on having you in my arms all night at the ball."

She smiled against my cheek. "I'll step on your feet."

"That's okay. My toes will survive."

I spun her around again before setting her down. We tried starting from the top one more time and she finally seemed to get it.

"See, you're dancing!"

Suddenly, she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. I groaned when her tongue met mine, and my hands moved from her back down to her perfect ass, which I was only beginning to familiarize myself with. I lifted her up until her legs wrapped around me and carried her over to the couch, where we fell into a heap of roving hands, panting kisses, and tangled limbs.

My lips sought out every spot on her neck while my hands desperately touched anywhere they could reach. I couldn't get enough.

"I want you so much," I panted.

Her breathy moan in response nearly made me come undone. My hands slid under her blouse, touching her soft skin and memorizing her tempting curves. Her fingers gripped my hair, trying to pull me closer.

It could never be close enough.

"I want you, too," she said.

I unbuttoned her jeans, needing to feel all of her.

"I… I'm scared."

I stopped everything at her whispered red flag, lifting my head up to find her pained face.

_She's scared of me?_

"I would never harm a hair on your head, Bella," I told her, brushing my thumb lightly across her cheekbone.

_I would, however, kill that asshole son-of-a-bitch in Seattle for doing this to her._

"I don't believe you'd ever physically hurt me, Edward." She paused and looked away from my eyes.

I leaned in close, tilting her chin until she faced me again. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm afraid this is all going to disappear. You… me… _us_… is it real? I keep waiting for the dream to end, to wake up and realize none of this happened. It scares me right to my bones." Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears.

I lifted myself off of her and pulled her onto my lap. I brushed her hair back from her face, contemplating the right words.

"I think any relationship worth having involves some risks on both sides. There has to be trust. I can promise you that my intentions toward us—_our future_—are good. I want you with me. Do _you_ want _me_?"

"How could I not?" She gave me a small smile.

"Oh, I don't know. There are plenty of people who would probably tell you I'm quite the asshole."

"I think you're perfect," she said softly. "For _me_."

I grinned at her addition. It was exactly the right thing to say.

"I think you're perfect for me, too," I agreed. I brushed her cheeks again with my fingers, glad to see her full smile had returned. "Why don't we make out like a couple teenagers in the back of a car for a while before bed?"

She laughed, but willingly went along with my request. It was the hottest make out session I'd ever had… by far. And when it was time to bid goodnight at her bedroom door, I was shocked when she pulled me in with her, asking me to hold her.

Holding Bella in my arms as she slept instantly turned out to be my new favorite activity.

I would see to it that it became a permanent fixture in my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Lots packed into this chapter: Esme, bookstore, dance practice. Will Bella like being the future Mrs. Edward Cullen?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8 Five Gold Rings

**Five Gold Rings**

December 21

_~~~Bella~~~_

I woke up with Edward still asleep and curled around me, his arm locked around my waist and his leg nestled between mine. His chest rose and fell against my back, and each breath he released on my neck made me tingle. It was about as intimate a position as we could be in without actually being intimate.

And I loved every second of it… even if we were both still fully clothed.

I had never understood the appeal of sex before. Jake was the only man I'd been with, and each time for me had been an exercise in waiting for him to finish. The only thing I'd ever felt was relief when it was over so I could go to sleep. It was unclear to me why people seemed to enjoy it so much.

But with Edward's kisses and his body wrapped around me, I began to wonder if there was something more to it. His simple touches alone made me ache with want. I snuggled further back into him, and his arm tightened around me.

_Had I ever felt as happy in Jake's arms?_

I didn't think so, not even at the beginning. What did that mean though? I thought I had loved Jake at one time, but not anymore.

Had I turned to him just because I was so starved for any attention that I settled?

_Probably._

Was I doing the same thing with Edward?

_No._

Being with Edward was a far cry from settling. I cherished every second I spent with him, and despite my fears of not being good enough, he still seemed to want me.

If he could overlook my flaws, how could I deny myself from being with him?

"You're thinking awfully hard over there," his sleepy voice said behind me.

I smiled and rubbed his arm. His lips met the back of my neck when I didn't answer, and I closed my eyes, simply enjoying the way my body warmed in response. While he peppered me with kisses, his hand lazily stroked my stomach. I arched my back, pressing into him again, and he moaned, grinding his hips and sucking on a spot at the base of my ear.

It felt so good, and I wanted more.

I placed my hand over his, guiding it from my stomach down to the button of my jeans. I didn't want him to stop this time.

"Can I make you feel good?" he asked softly in my ear. His rough, morning voice made my entire body shiver in anticipation.

I took a deep breath. I was ready to try it. "I'll have sex with you, but I'm not sure I'm any good at it."

He paused, not moving or saying anything for a minute.

_Did I say something wrong? Shouldn't he be taking off my pants?_

Instead, he turned me on my back and hovered over me, his eyes stormy and his mouth set in a thin line.

"Did he… is that what _he_ said to you?" he asked in disbelief, spitting out the word _he_ venomously.

I only nodded, not knowing what else to say. Edward was already angry enough.

He mumbled something under his breath, and lay down on his side next to me, propped up on his elbow. His hand started rubbing my stomach again as he stared at me. I had no idea what was going on in his head.

Maybe I was worse at sex than I thought. I'd already turned him off and hadn't even taken my clothes off yet.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about a couple things. Is that okay?"

I nodded again and he sighed.

"First of all… that piece of shit in Seattle. He is a moron. He's _nothing_. Anything he ever said to you, just throw it out. None of it was true. It was him who had the problems, not you."

I wanted to believe him.

"Second, if at any time ever—and I mean _ever_—you feel the least bit uncomfortable or you don't like something I say or do, I want you to tell me. I would never touch you or say something to hurt you in anger. Do you understand that?" He leaned over and kissed me.

"Yes."

He smiled and brushed my cheek. "I'm not saying we won't ever argue in the future, but I would never intentionally hurt you. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, especially if you are uneasy about something."

"Okay."

"Now… earlier, when I asked if I could make you feel good… I wasn't talking about sex. I only wanted to touch you."

_Huh?_

Jake had always just got in and got out. There hadn't been much touching, nor had he ever requested to make _me_ feel good.

Edward's lips pressed down on mine slowly. The sweetness in his soft and gentle kisses made me practically melt into the mattress. I opened my eyes and smiled when he pulled away, his face inches from mine.

"You are so beautiful," he said, making my heart pound as his eyes stared into mine.

He really thought I was beautiful.

I wanted to cry, laugh, jump for joy, and scream all at the same time. I felt pulled in a million different directions, but there was one underlying emotion that I had to acknowledge.

I was falling in love with him.

He lowered his face again, my eyes closing as his nose slid along mine. His kisses started at my lips, before moving along my jaw. My breathing quickened when his lips trailed down my neck and across my collarbone. His hand moved down my side, stroking my hip and thigh.

"I want to kiss every inch of you," he murmured.

I wanted to let him. Everything he was doing so far felt incredible, and I trusted him more than I had ever trusted anyone. My skin tingled as he touched and kissed, but the ache in my abdomen deepened.

"Edward, please," I said, not really sure what I was asking him to do.

"Can I touch you?"

"Yes," I told him, panting with need.

His lips never left my skin as he unbuttoned my jeans. Nothing but desire and excitement flowed through me as his fingers slipped inside my panties. My hips bucked instinctively when he slid along my hot flesh, and I bit my lip to keep from yelling out or moaning loudly.

"Let go, baby. Does that feel good?" he whispered in my ear.

"Yes, so good."

I gripped his hair, and he brought his mouth back to mine, our tongues moving together. I moaned when his fingers slid inside me, thrusting slowly.

"Bella," he said against my lips. "You feel so good. I can't wait to taste you, love you."

My heart pounded not only from his touches, but from his words. He couldn't wait to love me.

_Could he love me?_

Please God… let him love me.

He eventually broke his kisses, his own breathing coming quickly. He thrust his fingers deep into me, rubbing his thumb along my sensitive skin.

"Do you like that?" His voice was thick, deep.

I moaned and nodded in response… so close to coming apart. My hips moved in time to his hand, and I cried out when something broke inside, pleasure flooding through me.

I'd experimented on myself before, in an occasional moment of privacy during my teen years, but nothing compared to what I'd just experienced. Edward continued kissing me as I came down from my high. I was on top of the world.

If this was what sex was all about, I was definitely eager to explore further.

When he pulled away again, I opened my eyes to find him grinning down at me.

"That's a big smile on your face, Miss Swan."

"_Wow_."

It was hard to describe all the feelings running through me, but _wow_ summed it up for the most part. I wanted to ask him something, but was embarrassed, hiding my face with my hands.

"What's the hiding and blushing for?" he asked, playfully pushing my hands away.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Is that what sex is supposed to feel like?"

His hot breath flowed over my neck before his lips brushed my ear. "Baby, that's only the beginning." His voice was a soft purr, making my toes curl. "It's only going to get better. I'm going to make you feel so good, you won't remember your name."

"Ahhh…" I was already mumbling intelligibly and he was only talking.

He chuckled and hugged me to him. Eventually my breath returned as well as coherent thoughts. I felt a little guilty that I was the only one satisfied. I reached down to palm the obvious erection in his jeans.

His eyes locked on mine as he pulled my hand away. "Not this morning. Hasn't anyone ever just pleased you and expected nothing in return?"

"_No_, but—"

He cut me off with a sizzling kiss, and I momentarily forgot why I was protesting in the first place.

"We have forever," he said with a smile. He sat up and gave me one last peck. "I'm going to go shower. I think Rose and Alice will be here soon to pick you up."

He walked toward the door, turning around in the doorway.

"I'll have some breakfast for you downstairs after you get ready," he said before winking and heading toward his room.

I fell back on the bed, my mind whirling with everything that had just happened.

One thing stood out more than anything else.

_We have forever_.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"Bella, that's about the five hundredth time you've giggled today," Alice said, fussing with my gown.

The three of us had been at a salon all day getting plucked, waxed, primped, and styled. It would have been torturous if I hadn't still been floating from my morning with Edward. After the salon, we finished dressing at Alice's house, where Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were picking us up for tonight's benefit.

I still couldn't wrap my mind around going to a ball.

"Yeah, and what's with the dreamy smile you have plastered on your face?" Rose asked.

They were tag-teaming me.

"You had sex!" Alice yelled, before making a gagging sound. "Ugh… with my _brother_!"

"No, I didn't." I smiled as I remembered Edward explaining he only wanted to touch me.

Rose shook her head. "You definitely have the sex glow and the sappy, I-just-had-a-fuckawesome-orgasm face."

I turned away. I did have one of _those_.

"See! You aren't denying it," Rose added.

"I can't talk about this."

They both scoffed.

"Please, this is what friends are for," Alice said.

I blushed, knowing they weren't going to give up.

"Okay, I had a good morning. That's all I'm saying."

Rose grinned knowingly. "If Edward is anything like his brother, you will be kept very satisfied."

Alice covered her ears. "This is officially too weird. Let's go with Bella's no talking rule." She stood me up and walked me over to the full-length mirror. "Are you ready to see?"

I took a deep breath and looked at the image in the mirror. I didn't recognize the girl wearing the long green satin dress, her hair and makeup flawless. My eyes stared in disbelief as Alice placed a diamond necklace around my neck.

"Now this is just a loan. You can't have a naked neck without the old biddies there going into a tizzy."

"You're gorgeous," Rose said, coming to stand beside me. "What do you think?"

I didn't know what to think. I couldn't believe it, even though I saw it with my own eyes. A week before, I had no place to sleep at night.

Now, I looked like a princess.

I suddenly felt stifled from the barrage of changes I'd been through in the last week. It was as if I had no control over anything, and I was only along for a ride. An unbelievable ride. I couldn't stop the tears building up in my eyes.

_Were they tears of happiness? Sadness? Fear?_

Maybe a combination of all three and more.

"Oh, Bella," Rose said, hugging me to her. "It's all right. I know you probably feel overwhelmed right now."

Alice joined in the hug, embracing me from behind. It seemed not only Edward had changed my life, but now I had two friends. I pushed down all the emotions inside, determined not to ruin anyone's night with my issues.

"I'm okay," I said, straightening my shoulders. "I didn't ruin the makeup you put on me, did I Alice?"

She just laughed and fixed me up.

It wasn't long after that the guys showed up. I concentrated on not tripping as I walked down the stairs in low heels, but I stopped halfway to take in the scene of my tuxedo-clad Edward. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, his mouth open and eyes wide, staring up at me.

If a normally-dressed Edward made my heart skip a beat, my heart stopped completely when I saw him in the tux.

Thankfully, he shook himself out of his stupor and jogged to get me before I fell down the stairs. He stopped one step below me, our eyes almost level, and brought my hand up to his lips.

"You look amazing."

"So do you," I told him, finally regaining the power of speech.

He grinned and took my arm, escorting me the rest of the way to the first floor. The others stood there watching the two of us like we were a circus sideshow. I raised my eyebrow at Rose and Alice.

"You two make a spectacular—and interesting—couple," Alice explained. "I don't think I've ever seen stars in Edward's eyes before."

Edward cleared his throat, and his cheeks tinged pink.

_Was it wrong that I wanted to jump on top of him and forget about the party?_

"Bella, I don't think you've met my brother, Emmett," Edward said, changing the subject.

Emmett stepped forward, holding his hand out to me. He was tall, handsome, and well-built, but what I noticed the most were his dimples and huge smile.

"Nice to meet you, Emmett," I said, shaking his hand.

"Good to meet you too, Little B. You've received high marks from my Rosie, so I like you already. It's hard to get on her good side, since she doesn't like anybody very much," he said before receiving a loud thwack to the back of his head. "Ouch!"

"I like people… _sometimes_," Rose said.

"Ignore them. They're like this all the time," Edward explained.

We then left together, and I experienced my first ride in the back of a limousine. I was a ball of jitters, and tried not to fidget and play with all the gadgets in the car. Edward kept one arm around my shoulders and a hand on my knee, absorbing some of my excess energy and keeping me calm.

"It's going to be great. You're beautiful," he whispered in my ear when the car stopped at our destination.

_How could I tell him that most of my anxiety came from the thought of meeting his mother?_

I was the last one to get out of the car, Edward right outside to assist me. The camera flashes as we walked in unnerved me a bit, but he kept his arm around my waist and my body tucked into his side the whole time. Once inside, I couldn't believe my eyes.

It wasn't the stares we garnered from the other finely dressed patrons, it was the opulence displayed at every turn. Half the room was designated as a dance floor, and the other half was dotted with tables, each of which had its own elaborate ice sculpture that probably cost as much as it would to feed a family of four for a year. An orchestra played from a staged area at the side of the dance floor, and servers rotated with gleaming silver trays holding champagne flutes and hors d'oeuvres. Poinsettias garnished each table, amplifying the festive setting.

It even _smelled_ wealthy.

Edward selected two glasses of champagne, handing one to me and then taking my hand to guide us to a table. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing the other four again at our table. Their familiar faces soothed my nerves a bit.

"Over the top, isn't it?" Rose said with a smirk.

I bit my lip and glanced at the rest of them before nodding my head in agreement. Edward chuckled and held out a chair for me to sit down next to Alice.

Before he could take the place beside me, Edward was besieged with greetings from several different guests. His face took on a mask… it was as if he was a different person than when we were alone together. He was witty, charming, sarcastic, confident, and perhaps arrogant.

It was… _sexy_.

Although, I loved the sweet and gentle Edward even more.

Everyone eyed me curiously, and I was introduced to several different Cullen family friends, acquaintances, and admirers. As time passed, my anxiety level multiplied. I wondered where Edward's parents were, wanting to get the interrogation over with.

Edward had told me I could reveal as much or as little as I wanted to. He was not embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable with anything about me. He said he was honored and proud that I was with him.

I didn't believe him, of course.

_I mean… how could he not be embarrassed about being with a homeless person?_

I was broken out of my thoughts when Edward's fingers trailed down my arm, caressing my skin as he kept his conversation going. My body flushed thinking about where those fingers had been this morning, but it meant more that he was letting me know he was thinking about me even if he was talking to someone else.

"You okay?" Rose asked quietly, leaning toward me. I nodded and smiled at her.

Edward leaned down and kissed my temple. "Mr. Madison wants me to go say hello to someone for just a moment. I'll be right over there." He pointed to a spot across the room. "When I come back, I hope the most beautiful woman here will allow me a dance."

My heart fluttered in my chest as I watched him walk across the room.

"You two are almost sickeningly sweet," Rose commented with a chuckle.

"I can't help it," I said.

Edward turned his head toward me and winked, and I probably turned the shade of a tomato. No sooner had I calmed down than a strawberry-blonde woman appeared at our table, her eyes narrowed in my direction.

Alice grabbed my hand under the table.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" she asked me. "I never forget a face."

"Well… hello, Tanya," Rose said, her voice filled with disdain. "This is Edward's girlfriend, Bella."

Tanya glared at Rose before turning back to me. "Since when are you his girlfriend? Esme didn't mention any girlfriend."

My mouth went dry, and I squirmed in my seat.

"Tanya, you shouldn't create a scene," Alice said. "You know your father wouldn't approve."

"Yeah, you seem to be a little lost," Rose added. "The Cullen brother rejection table is to the right."

My mouth dropped open, and my eyes darted to my lap before I could erupt in giggles.

"You are _such_ a bitch, Rosalie," Tanya spat.

"What's your point?"

Tanya huffed and stalked off just as Jasper and Emmett arrived back.

"Everything okay?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows raised in Tanya's direction.

"It's fine… just girl talk," Rose said, grabbing the drink he carried for her.

It looked like some fruity drink, and I was almost jealous. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, and she grinned widely.

The guys finally sat down, and I laughed at the ongoing commentary and gossip about people around the room. I leaned over toward Alice.

"Who is Edward talking to?" I whispered.

He was gesturing and smiling, every once in a while looking in my direction. I knew he was discussing me at one point because the older gentleman glanced at me and grinned.

"The governor," she replied.

_Holy hell_.

It wasn't long before Edward came back, sweeping me onto the dance floor.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" he asked, holding me close to him.

I smiled. "A few times."

"I plan on saying it a few _more_ times… just so you know."

He held me close, and I enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms. I didn't even step on his toes much at all. Unfortunately, our dancing was cut short after two songs when Tanya showed up.

"Edward, can I have this dance? Tyler here will take care of Bella."

I was swept away before I could say a word, spinning around in some stranger's embrace. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and I panicked a little from being held by someone I didn't know. His height and coloring was too similar to Jake, even though he seemed nice enough. I avoided looking at him directly, trying to keep my eyes on Edward and hoping he would come get me.

But the sight of Edward and Tanya dancing together made me sick to my stomach. She was beautiful, refined, polished… all the things I wasn't. It was obvious she was the kind of girl he was supposed to be with. Not someone like me. Watching her reinforced everything I knew in my heart. I was nowhere close to being good enough for him.

No wonder Esme wanted them together.

I tried to keep from crying and turned to Tyler, who smiled down at me.

"She's back," he said. "I was wondering if you even realized I was here."

"Yeah, well…" I had no idea what to say to this person.

"Maybe you would stay with me for another dance, give me a chance to introduce myself?"

"I don't think so," Edward interrupted, taking my hands and glaring at Tyler.

Tyler chuckled. "You could always pick 'em, Cullen." He turned toward me. "Call me when you're done with him. It was nice meeting you, Bella."

Edward pulled me tight to him as we moved away.

"I'm sorry about that," he said.

"It's not your fault," I replied, still unsettled from seeing Tanya in his arms.

He sighed, and I followed the direction of his eyes. His parents had arrived to the table. His mother's gaze was already set in our direction, and I swallowed nervously, hoping my sweaty hand wouldn't gross out Edward.

"It'll be all right," he assured me as he led us toward them.

Carlisle smiled as we approached, but Esme's eyes were hard.

"Mother, Father, I'd like you to meet Bella Swan," he said.

I shook both their hands as we greeted each other. Everyone took their seats, and I was happy to be on the other side of the table from them.

Edward kept my hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on my palm. It might have been my imagination, but it appeared Jasper, Emmett, and Rose were running interference, keeping Esme in constant conversation.

"How are you doing?" Edward whispered in my ear as dinner was served. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him, letting him know I was fine.

Esme chose that moment to start her questioning.

"Bella, Edward mentioned you were new to Chicago. Where are you from?"

I took a sip of my water. "I'm from Seattle," I said, trying to keep eye contact with her, although I really wanted to hide under the table.

"Is your family still there?"

"No… I… ah… don't have any family," I stammered, looking down quickly and taking a deep breath.

_Please don't let me embarrass Edward_.

He squeezed my hand, giving me a bit of strength, and I met her eyes again. Maybe Edward had given her a _back-off_ look or something, because she didn't prod any further about my family.

"What do you do, Bella?" she asked.

My heart started pounding in my chest, and my mind went blank.

"She's between jobs right now and looking to get back into school, aren't you?" Edward said softly, saving me.

I only nodded in agreement.

Edward brought my hand back up to kiss again, and I met his caring eyes. The lengths he seemed to go to help me, make me comfortable, endeared him to me even more, yet I also felt guilty he had to in the first place. If he was here with a normal girl, he would never have to go to so much trouble.

I glanced back over and took in Esme's narrowed eyes at Edward's gesture of affection. My heart clenched, even though I'd been told she was a tough nut to crack. She didn't even really know anything about me, and already didn't like me.

_What would happen when she learned the truth?_

"You and Edward met at the shelter?" she asked. "I don't recognize your name, and I'm on the charity board in charge of the event that night. Were you there through some other organization? Or were you there out of the kindness of your heart?"

There was nothing kind in her tone, and my hands trembled in my lap. The rest of the faces at the table watched Esme with expressions ranging from anger to shock.

"Esme," Carlisle pled softly before leaning over and whispering something in her ear.

Before Esme could ask another question, Rose took charge.

"Alice and I went shopping with Bella the other day and we just adore her. She's perfect for you, Edward."

I blushed at her words, but she continued, on a roll.

"So, I think that's enough interrogation Esme. Besides, we have an announcement. We were going to wait until Christmas, but I can't hold it in any longer."

Esme clearly forgot all about questioning me as she turned her attention to Rose. It hurt to watch her face transform from stiff and disapproving to motherly and warm in the blink of an eye.

"I'm pregnant," Rose announced.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I never got another question all night.

Though I was glad for the reprieve, the dread in the pit of my stomach grew as we got up to leave. When we neared the exit, I turned back to find Tanya huddled with Esme. I shivered when their heads simultaneously whipped my way… Esme's face panicked and Tanya's triumphant.

I leaned into Edward's side and his arm tightened around me.

_Could I survive losing him, too?_

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks so much for all the reviews and love for this story! I hope you liked this chapter :)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9 Four Colly Birds

**Four Colly Birds**

December 22

_~~~Edward~~~_

I needed to buy Rose a car… or an island.

I thought my poor Bella was going to pass out right there at the table last night, and I had been close to yelling at my mother to mind her own business.

That probably wouldn't have done any good.

However, Rose saved the night. She was brilliant… plus I was happy for her and my brother.

It hadn't helped I was already agitated when my mother's inquisition began. I had almost punched Tyler McIntire when he stopped me on my way back to the table and asked if he could have a go at Bella when I was done with her. I made it quite clear to him that if he even breathed in her direction, I would kick his ass all over Chicago.

Then he had the audacity to dance with her. That asshole was going down.

_Cocksucker._

I'd never felt as jealous in my life as when I saw her dancing with him. I wanted Bella in _my_ arms alone. She had been so beautiful in her green dress, almost taking my breath away when I saw her on the staircase. I couldn't even count the number of people who stopped me to ask who she was, and I loved being able to say I was with her. She had no idea how gorgeous she really was.

Luckily, I was the one who got to take her home.

She was even more beautiful in one of my t-shirts, lying asleep in my arms this morning. She'd been so exhausted when we got back home, we didn't do anything except change and say goodnight before she fell asleep in my bed.

In _my_ bed.

I wanted it to be _our_ bed.

I wasn't sure when this shift in my feelings occurred, but I couldn't deny it.I_ loved_ her. I wanted to give her everything she'd ever been without… family, security, fun, attention, care.

_And orgasms._

Multiple. Daily.

The look on her face when she came was something I'd never forget. How anyone couldn't want to give her pleasure and see her respond was completely beyond me.

I was broken from my thoughts when she stretched in her sleep, and I drooled watching the hem of her shirt rise up over her hip. It was difficult to keep my hands to myself, but I was still leery of pushing her too fast. That fucker in Seattle had really done a number on her.

I hugged her tighter to me and breathed in her scent. For the time being, it was enough to have her safe and happy in my arms.

My dick and I were turning over new leaves… trying out patience and maturity for the first time.

We'd see how long it lasted.

"Good morning," I said when she finally stirred.

"Morning," she grumbled.

"Did you have fun last night?" The question had been on my mind because she hadn't said much on the way home.

She paused for a moment before shrugging. "It was interesting," she murmured into her pillow. Then she turned onto her back and looked at me, wiping sleep from her eyes.

"Interesting _good_ or interesting _bad_?"

She shrugged again. "Just interesting…"

"Bella…" I narrowed my eyes at her. She was hiding something. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

She raised up, scooting herself back toward the headboard, now in a sitting position. "I don't know. It was just unsettling to see all those people with all that money eating food that mainly went to waste, especially when there are so many hungry people out there. I was one of them just a few days ago. Then on top of that… those ice sculptures. They probably cost a ton of money and are nothing more than puddles of water today."

She was right. It wasn't something I'd ever thought about before but had to acknowledge when looking at it from her perspective.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me to say."

"No, it wasn't." I stopped her apologies, smiling down at her. "You're right."

She seemed a bit tentative, reaching her hand out as if she wanted to touch me and then pulling back. Eventually, she sighed and moved toward the side of the bed.

"I'm going to go take a shower and make some breakfast."

"I'll meet you down there," I said, giving her a kiss before she got up.

I watched her walk out and wondered what was going through her head. I thought over her words and a plan for the day came to me. Grinning at my brilliance, I grabbed my phone to check my messages. I turned it off last night after the repeated calls from my mother, and I sighed seeing my voicemail filled with ten messages from her.

As if overcoming Bella's past and insecurities weren't enough, I didn't need my mother causing extra drama and trying to break us apart. I turned my phone back off and set it to charge. It was going to be a phone-free day.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I grabbed two Cubs baseball caps, putting one on and placing the other on Bella's head.

"Why do I have to wear a hat?"

Hat? _Girls._

I stopped myself before I rolled my eyes at her.

"This is a cap, not a hat. And because we're on a secret mission," I told her, placing her hair behind her ears. She looked so damn cute. "You're going to be filled with the Christmas spirit today."

"I have plenty of spirit."

I laughed. She certainly did.

I tickled her waist, loving the way she laughed and wiggled in my grasp. "You better run or I'm going to fill you with something else and then we'll never get out of here."

She bit her lip and blushed. My dick protested from the false hope.

"Promises… promises, Mr. Cullen," she teased, running off toward the garage.

I chased after her, because damned if her feistiness didn't turn me on. It was hard to subdue the urge to bend her over the hood of the car, but our first time was going to be more romantic than a quickie in the garage. She deserved better than that.

But we'd be revisiting the car locale someday… that's for damn sure.

The flirting banter continued as I drove us to our destination. I liked that Bella finally felt comfortable enough with me to let out her silly side. She certainly kept me on my toes.

"So we're going to find my missing Christmas spirit at Kmart?" she asked when we drove into the packed parking lot.

"You'll see, smartass," I replied with a grin.

I walked over to help her out of the car after cutting the engine. Those pouty lips of hers were crushed under mine as I pressed her back against the door, and I groaned when she whimpered against my mouth.

She made the sexiest sounds when she was aroused.

Reluctantly, I pulled back before we made too much of a scene. This was supposed to be covert. I grabbed a pair of sunglasses and put them on her.

"What are these for?" she said, laughing at me. "We're not robbing Kmart, are we?"

"No, quite the opposite, my darling," I told her before reaching into my pocket for a stack of hundred dollar bills.

I'd grabbed some cash I kept in my safe at home while Bella was in the shower earlier. I looked around, making sure nobody was watching, and put the money in the inside pocket of her coat.

Her mouth dropped open.

"What's that for?" she hissed softly.

I kissed her again and smiled. "You'll see." I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside.

We walked into the store, and I immediately headed for the layaway counter. The lady behind the counter eyed us suspiciously as we approached. I supposed we may have looked somewhat nefarious in our shades and caps.

I glanced at her nametag. "Hello, Sue. I hope you're having a nice holiday season."

She gave me a small smile, and Bella looked at me like I needed a straight-jacket.

"What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you might be able to ballpark about how many orders you currently have on hold? How many people have yet to pay off their layaway bills before Christmas?" I squeezed Bella's hand.

Sue raised her eyebrow and gave another long curious gaze at the two of us. A few seconds later she clicked some buttons on the computer and looked back at me.

"Around fifty orders."

I pulled out my wallet and black American Express card, laying it on the counter. "I'd like to pay those off, please."

"_What?_" both Sue and Bella asked at the same time.

"I'd like to pay those off," I said again.

Sue finally recovered from her shock and giddily put through the transactions. She didn't even break stride when she saw whose name was on the card. Bella only stared at me, and I worried she might be upset and think I was being stupid.

"This is a wonderful thing you're doing," Sue gushed, handing me the final slip to sign.

I signed my name, slid it back to her with a hundred dollar bill, and tipped my cap. "Merry Christmas, Sue."

I tugged on Bella's hand, and she followed me into a relatively empty aisle. She still hadn't said anything, and I needed to know if she was upset.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, leaning down and sliding her sunglasses down her nose so I could see her eyes.

They were watery and her lips trembled slightly.

"I'm sorry, baby. I thought it would be fun," I told her, pulling her tight against me in a hug.

"Edward, that was the sweetest thing I've ever seen," she whispered. Her arms gripped around my neck. "Do you have any idea how many people's lives you just made better? How many will have a nice Christmas for their kids now?"

My heart sighed with relief that she understood what I was trying to do and what I wanted her to be a part of.

"You inspired the idea," I said.

"I did?"

"Yes, you did. You were right when you mentioned that the extravagance last night was sad. It's easy to forget sometimes how many people struggle, especially this time of year. I wanted to take you out today and try the giving part."

She pulled my glasses down and stared into my eyes. "Edward, I… I… love—"

Unfortunately her words were cut off by a passerby with a cart.

_Was she going to tell me she loved me?_

My heart raced with hope, but she remained quiet after the moment passed. I didn't want to push her, so I changed the subject. I slid both our pairs of glasses back into place and grinned at her.

"Are you ready for the next phase, Miss Swan?"

"Lead the way, Santa."

I laughed as we walked out. We drove a short way to a Target store, and she eagerly followed me inside. We walked to the toy department and saw a young woman looking at a display, obviously very pregnant. I stood behind Bella and embraced her.

"Why don't you give her a bit of cheer?" I whispered in her ear.

She turned her head and smiled at me, and I released my arms to watch as she approached the woman. Bella handed her a couple bills and told her Merry Christmas. The lady stood in stunned silence as Bella turned and walked back toward me with a mile-wide grin.

She was practically vibrating with excitement as she pulled me away.

"Oh my God!" she squealed when we hid in another aisle. "That was so much fun."

We spent the rest of the day reliving the same scene at several different stores on the northside of Chicago. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

I believed it to be the same for Bella.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

It was evening before we finally got back home, and I cringed when I saw my mother's town car sitting in the driveway still running. Of course she wouldn't invite the driver in with her. I regretted ever giving her a key to my house.

Our perfect day was about to take a turn for the worse.

"Whose car is that?" Bella asked.

I squeezed her hand. "It's my mother." I pulled into the garage and glanced over to find her head down, fingers fiddling with a button on her coat. "Hey." I brushed her cheek with my thumb. "No matter what she says, it changes nothing between us."

She finally lifted her head and gave me a tight smile, obviously not believing my words. I sighed as we got out of the car. Mother was sitting at the kitchen island when we walked in, and I held Bella's hand firmly in mine.

"She's staying here?" Mother asked, not even glancing at Bella.

"Yes, Bella is staying here," I said, already getting angry. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Please tell me Tanya was wrong." Her voice was edging on hysterical and Bella nervously shuffled her feet next to me. "She's not… you didn't… did you bring a _homeless_ person here?"

"She's not homeless. She lives here."

I watched as my mother tried to control her expressions, the demeanor she put on for polite society losing the battle with what she clearly preferred to say.

"Have you gone _insane_, Edward? You let that… that kind of _trash_ into your house? What if she robs you? Or worse, what if people find out?"

Bella's fingers dug into my hand with each hateful word my mother uttered.

"Stop," I growled, taking a step in Mother's direction.

"I will not have this, Edward! I will not allow some worthless tramp to take advantage—"

"_Enough_!" I roared, startling both women.

That was it. I wasn't going to tolerate her being so disrespectful to Bella. Not in front of me, and especially not in front of her. I didn't care if she was my mother.

I leaned down and kissed Bella's cheek. "I'll be right back," I whispered to her before glaring at my mother. "Mother, come with me, please."

"She's trying to scam you! How can you do—"

"_Now_!" I yelled, cutting her off. I took her arm and led her to the front door.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she cried, turning on the waterworks.

"This is _my_ home, and I won't have you treating Bella like that," I said, my voice low and threatening.

"I'm your mother," she retorted.

"That doesn't give you the right to act like this. If you can't respect Bella, then you need to leave."

"She has nothing. She'll ruin you. Are you really going to embarrass the family like this?" Her words were stuttered between her sobs.

"The only embarrassing thing here is your behavior." I threw open the front door, shaking with anger. "I can't even _look_ at you right now. Leave before I say or do something I'll regret."

"I can't believe—"

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

She finally took me seriously, stepping outside before I slammed the door shut. I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair, feeling sick to my stomach. I needed to calm down before I attempted to do damage control with Bella.

I paced around the living room, shedding my anger and thinking of comforting things to say to her. Finally, I walked back to the kitchen to see if she was still downstairs. Not finding her, I ran up the stairs. Her bedroom door was open and the light was off inside.

"Edward," she said softly.

I followed the sound of her voice, finding her standing in the doorway to my room, wearing my t-shirt.

I hugged her to me. "Bella, I'm so—"

"Shh," she said, putting a finger to my lips. "Don't say anything."

She began unbuttoning my shirt, and I assumed she wanted me to hold her… comfort her. I kicked off my shoes and jeans. She pulled my shirt off, leaving me standing there in my boxers.

My heart pounded when she lifted the t-shirt off her body. I could only swallow and stare as she continued on, slowly taking off her bra and panties.

There she was, displayed before me, a picture of perfection. I was confused as to what to do. My mother's words had to have hurt her, however the desire raging through me wasn't exactly conducive for quiet comforting.

She tugged on my hand, pulling me toward the bed and pushed me down to sit. She climbed up to straddle my lap, winding her fingers into my hair and kissing me insistently.

I wanted to make sure she was all right, but damn.

I had a naked Bella sticking her tongue down my throat. It wasn't possible to pull back at this point. My dick would have officially quit me and left for a retirement home in Florida if I didn't respond to Bella's demanding body.

I gripped her ass, moaning as she rubbed against me. My fingers slid further underneath her, and my cock twitched at her being so wet for me.

She broke her kisses with a gasp for air, and I took the opportunity to taste her delicious skin. I sucked on her neck before licking a long line from her collarbone to her ear and teasing her wet skin with a gentle blow of air. Her body shivered in my arms, and my lips went right back to work.

I groaned when she tugged on my hair, flipping us to the bed with her underneath me.

"Please, Edward. I need you," she urged, grabbing at my boxers.

The need for her was overwhelming, and my body was close to exploding. I quickly rid myself of the last bit of material between us and reached for a condom in my nightstand. I tore open the wrapper and put it on, kissing her slowly.

I took a deep breath and lowered my forehead to hers. Her eyes opened, staring into mine.

"Are you sure, Bella?"

"Yes."

I kissed her again, sliding in slowly. Her breath caught, and I stilled my movement until she let me know she was comfortable. I pulled out and pushed back in fully, over and over, losing myself in the way her tight walls gripped me.

So warm… so good.

I'd never felt anything better.

Our bodies moved together without thought, like they knew each other already, and I got lost in everything Bella. It was so much better than any of the hundreds of times I'd imagined being with her.

She was perfect.

I opened my eyes, forcing myself to focus on her face. There was no way I was going to come before she did, if it was the last thing I ever did.

She brought her knees up and wrapped her legs around me, and I groaned as I slid in even deeper with each thrust. Her fingers dug into my shoulders, and she moaned each time our bodies came together.

"You feel so good," I said before kissing her again.

She clung to me and answered with panted breath. I held myself up with one arm and brought my other hand between us to stroke her to completion. She came apart, crying out and clamping down around me. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

I'd never seen anything so fucking beautiful in my life.

And the feeling of her coming around me was more than I could take. I let go, thrusting hard until my own release came.

My dick wanted to hold a parade in her honor.

I brushed the sweaty hair off her face and kissed her neck as we both tried to catch our breath. After taking care of the condom, I hugged her to me and lavished her with more kisses.

"That was… damn… it was amazing," I murmured.

We locked gazes with only the faint moonlight streaming in, and her fingers traced my face as if she were trying to memorize each feature.

I took a deep breath and told her exactly what had been running through my mind all day.

"I love you, Bella."

She swallowed, and her wide eyes glistened. I held her tightly as she buried her face in the crook of my neck and released a shuddering breath on my skin.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

I realized then what a gift I had received. Even though I didn't deserve it, I had the love of the beautiful woman in my arms. Suddenly everything in my future became clear. _She_ was the most important thing to me. I wanted to marry her, take care of her, have children with her, make a life with her.

My world now revolved around Bella.

I fell asleep smiling, knowing not even my dreams could touch what I had in reality.

* * *

><p><strong>Hmm... what's up with Bella? Let me know what you think :)<strong>


	10. Chapter 10 Three French Hens

**Three French Hens**

December 23

_~~~Bella~~~_

_Dear Edward,_

_There aren't enough words to tell you how much you really mean to me. This time I've spent with you has been the best experience of my life, and I'll never forget it. I'll never forget you._

_I meant what I said last night._

_I love you._

_I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before… more than myself. That's why I have to do the right thing here. I can't be selfish anymore._

_I don't belong in your world. I have nothing to give, and you deserve so much more. You will soon find someone worthy of being at your side and understand this was the right decision._

_I will keep every memory of you locked tight in my heart. Every moment with you is something I'll cherish for the rest of my life._

_Goodbye,  
>Bella<em>

I sobbed, placing the note on the kitchen counter where he would find it. I could barely breathe as I grabbed my backpack and glanced around one last time. One of the ornaments we had picked out together caught my eye, and I walked over to the Christmas tree to turn it over in my hand.

Was it possible for a heart to actually break?

I wasn't sure, but that's what it felt like as I put the ornament back in it's place. It felt like my heart was shattering into a thousand pieces inside me, the shards ripping me apart.

Did I tell him how much I enjoyed decorating the tree? How much it meant to me?

_It didn't matter. _

I had to let him go.

I forced myself to move away from the tree and toward the door, even though all I really wanted to do was run back up the stairs and cuddle with him again. I'd left him while he slept, wanting the last image I had of him to be the smile on his face as he dreamed.

I walked out the front door in the clothes I arrived in, the only addition being the coat they had gotten me. I didn't think they would mind.

As soon as the cold early morning air hit me, I gasped and doubled over. It was like a hole had been blasted right through me, and it was difficult to hold myself together.

_Be brave, Bella. Think of what's best for him._

I started running before I could turn around and go back inside. I focused on the image of his face as I stumbled away. The wailing cries from what sounded like a wounded animal barely reached my consciousness, until I realized they were coming from me.

I kept moving, trying to push my emotions aside.

_One foot in front of the other. Left. Right. Left._

Numbness took over eventually, whether from the cold temperatures or my despair… I didn't know.

My plan was to get out of Chicago. Maybe try to head south for a warmer climate, although I knew sunshine wouldn't fix my dead heart. There was only one thing left to do before I could leave.

I had to make sure Ruby was all right.

I kept walking all morning and into the afternoon, watching rich suburbia turn into the concrete jungle of the city proper. By the time I reached downtown, it had started to snow.

I didn't mind the distraction of the falling flakes and the way they muffled the noises of the city. Everything rang hollow anyway. Nothing mattered anymore.

By early evening, I'd arrived at the areas where Ruby and I usually traversed. They seemed almost foreign to me as I wandered from one spot to another looking for her. It was as if the nine days away had been a lifetime.

_How would I recover and live my non-existence knowing he was out there?_

I had no answer except another sob racking through my body. The brick wall of a building supported my weight as I leaned against it, trying to get myself together. I almost missed seeing Ruby exiting the soup kitchen.

She glanced my way from across the street and immediately came over. "Bella?"

I smiled weakly at her familiar voice.

She grabbed my arm and tugged me into a nearby alley. "You not okay?"

My responding half-laugh-half-sob pretty much summed it up. I took a couple deep breaths so I could accomplish what I came for. "How are you, Ruby? Have you been eating well?"

"I fine. Have new blankets at my place. Food every day."

"I… I have to… leave Chicago," I said, the words not wanting to come out of my mouth. "I came to let you know."

She shook her head. "You with pretty man."

A new flood of tears streamed down my face, and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Come. We go inside. You freeze."

She pulled on my arm again, leading me into the soup kitchen and to a corner table. We sat there silently until her hand came to rest on top of mine.

"Bella go with Edward."

My eyes widened at her words. "What do you mean?"

"He give me food that night. Money, too. You go with him."

I nodded my head in understanding. Since English was her second language, it sometimes took a couple of tries to figure out the meaning of her words.

"Yes, I went with him."

"Why leave?"

"I couldn't stay." My eyes fell to the table. "I didn't belong there. He's too good. He deserves someone worthy of him. Someone who doesn't break up his family."

"That stupid," she said.

I looked up to find her shaking her head and frowning.

"You love him."

I nodded. There was no way I could deny it.

"He love you."

I shrugged. "He thinks he does, but he'll find someone soon much better for him."

"No. He love you. He look for you!"

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

She sighed in exasperation. I would have laughed if I wasn't crying.

"He here. He find me while ago. He look for you."

My heart started pounding in my chest as she dug through her pack for something.

_He was here? He was looking for me?_

"Here. He write this." She handed me a hastily scribbled note. "Told me give to you if see you. Also give me money and this."

Of course he gave her money. He was an angel.

On the other piece of paper she held out was his cell number.

"He told me call if need anything," she added.

I sobbed again, realizing he came down here scouring the streets for me and cared enough to continue helping Ruby. It made me love him even more. I opened the note he'd written and wiped my eyes so I could read.

_Bella,_

_You are wrong._

_You have everything to give. Everything I need._

_You can run, but I'll never stop looking for you. Never._

_Please come home._

_I love you._

_Edward_

He would keep looking until he found me.

_Was I ridiculous in presuming he would forget about me if I left?_

"He love you," Ruby repeated, grabbing my attention again.

"I'm not worth it," I whispered.

"Stop," she said, her hand slamming down on the table.

I stared at her in surprise.

"If Ruby found prince, would you say I not worth it?" she asked.

My mouth dropped open. "No! Of course I wouldn't."

"Same for you. You good."

She'd turned my words around on me, and I didn't have much of an argument back.

_When did she get so insightful?_

I was so confused. I buried my face in my hands, trying to make sense of my decision to leave.

_Was it really best for Edward?_ _Could I be good for him? Could I give him even a fraction of what he's given me?_

"His mother hates me," I mumbled.

"She here, too," Ruby said, patting my head.

"What?" I asked loudly. No way was Esme Cullen in this part of town.

Ruby nodded and laughed. "She look for you. She talk with me."

I shook my head. "No, it wasn't his mother. It must have been someone else."

"Weird name… Esss-mee. Think she scared. Eyes scared… but here. She talk with others, too." Ruby pointed toward the staff in the kitchen.

I was stunned silent.

_What did it mean? Why was she here?_

I thought she hated me.

_Why would she look for me with Edward?_

"Was she nice to you?" I finally asked her.

She nodded. "She okay. Want to know where you go."

If Esme had been there looking for me, maybe it was possible she would accept Edward and I together.

_Could I leave Chicago without knowing for sure?_

"Go, Bella. He need you."

I truly smiled for the first time since I left his house. I stood and rushed around the table to give Ruby a hug. "Thank you, Ruby. Will you be all right? Can I get anything for you?"

"I fine. Have all I need. Go!"

I kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas."

She pushed me away toward the door, and I laughed as I ran out to the sidewalk. The snow was coming down harder, and I suddenly realized how long it was going to take me to get back to Edward's.

It didn't matter. I felt energized by the spark of hope in my heart. The possibility of being in his arms again carried me along. I was a fool for leaving.

_How could I have done that after last night?_

The memory of being with him warmed me, slowly mending together those broken fragments of my heart.

His lips, his body, his heart… I'd taken them all and given them up. I _had_ to get them back.

I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. It was silly to think I could run all the way there. I looked down and realized I still had Edward's note gripped tightly in my hand. My fingers ran over his words as I read it again. When the snowflakes started melting and running the ink, I folded it and placed it inside the pocket of my coat.

I felt something else in my pocket and pulled out three leftover hundred-dollar bills from our shopping trip.

It was time for my very first cab ride.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sitting by the front door of Edward's house, but I'd never been happier to have a coat, gloves, and hat. The wind and snow blew harshly, and I shivered, curling myself in a ball to conserve my body heat.

It had been dark for several hours, and still he hadn't come home.

Jabs of fear pierced my heart as I wondered where he was. What if my leaving and his consequent search for me harmed him in any way?

_Where was he?_

When the headlights of a car cut through the frozen night, I almost thought I was hallucinating, like a thirsty man in a desert. But something told me this was real, and my pounding heart and churning gut seemed to agree.

I stood up, still cloaked in darkness, and watched the car pull up the driveway and stop in front of the house. I wondered why he wasn't parking in the garage while I watched his silhouette in the idling car.

He shut off the engine and leaned forward, his face falling into his hands. I didn't know if I should call out or walk up to his window. When his shoulders shuddered, I whimpered.

He was crying.

Edward was crying and it was all my fault.

_Edward, I'm so sorry._

His head lifted as if he had heard my thoughts. When he looked at me, the expression on his face changed from sorrow to shock. I took a step toward the car, but he made no effort to get out.

_Was I too late? Did he hate me for what I did?_

I didn't think I had anymore tears left, but they flowed down my face. My legs wobbled, ready to fold and bring me to my knees to ask forgiveness if that was what he wanted.

His arms were around me before I could fall.

_He'd promised me he would never let me fall_.

"I'm sorry," I cried against his chest over and over. Every last bit of energy left in me would be used to apologize until he forgave me.

"You're here… you're really here."

His words were barely recognizable through my sobs. He lifted me up, his arms so tight it was hard to breathe. I clung to him, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my face in the crook of his neck.

The next thing I knew, my back was pressed against the door. Edward kissed the side of my neck while he tried to get the door open. After getting us inside, he kicked the door closed and carried me to the closest couch.

"Shh," he said, trying to calm down my crying. His hands stroked my hair and back as he sat with me still wrapped around him.

The smell and feel of him so close relaxed me, but the weight of the day and the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on hit me hard and my body was close to shutting down.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered again.

"Bella, you've been out there all day. Are you hurt? Are you okay? Should I call Jasper?" His voice was frantic with worry.

"I'm fine now," I said against the skin of his neck. I kept my arms tight around him, letting my weary and sleepy eyes close.

He brushed the hair from my face. "You've worn yourself completely out, haven't you? Is there anything you need?"

"Just sleep. Just you."

_Everything would be all right if he was next to me_.

I let myself drift off hoping I never had to leave his arms again.

* * *

><p><strong>Check out these other Christmas stories!<strong>

**The Naughty Elf by twilly  
>The Little Drummer Boy by SydneyAlice<br>Kinky Christmas Countdown by Lfcpam**


	11. Chapter 11 Two Turtle Doves

**Two Turtle Doves**

December 24

_~~~Edward~~~_

The grandfather clock chimed twelve times.

Midnight.

It was Christmas Eve, and I had the love of my life asleep in my arms after the worst day of my life.

I blew out a gust of air, finally able to exhale in relief.

I had realized something was wrong the second I woke up alone in a cold bed yesterday morning. By the time I got downstairs, I already knew what her note was going to say before I read it.

I wanted to cry, scream, and hit something… or _someone_.

However, none of those things would bring her back.

I immediately called Alice and Rose on the off-chance Bella had told them anything. Little did I know that would set off a chain reaction leading to another confrontation with my mother.

I was broken from my thoughts when Bella moved in my lap. Her beautiful face was still blotchy and tear-stained as she slept soundly with her head resting on my shoulder.

When I had seen her standing by the front door with the snow coming down around her, I thought my imagination had taken over, or I was having a psychotic break. After being out there searching every part of the city, I had thought maybe I'd really lost the best thing to ever happen to me. The last thing I'd expected was to see her at our front door.

My arms tightened around her as if assuring myself she was really here.

I loosened my grip to gently remove her shoes and coat, covering us with a blanket and lying back on the cushions with her still on top of me. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I reached down to grab it.

"Hey, Emmett," I answered softly.

"You're home, right? You promised you wouldn't go back out. Rose and I are going to come over. I don't want you there alone tonight."

"She's here," I told him.

"What? _How_?"

Emmett must've pulled away from the phone to inform Rose that Bella had made it back home. I heard shuffling noises, and then Rose replaced Emmett.

"Edward? She's _there_?"

"Yes, she's asleep. She was here when I got home. We haven't had a chance to really talk yet, so I don't know anything more."

Rose let out a sob, and Emmett got back on the phone.

"Is she all right?" he asked.

"I think so. Listen, she's asleep right here. I don't want to wake her. Can you please call the rest of the family and let them know? I'll call you tomorrow."

"Sure thing," he said and paused. "I'm glad she's home."

"Me, too. Thank you for being there for me today."

"You're my brother. I always have your back."

I chuckled, even though my gut was still twisted. "Goodnight, Em."

"Goodnight."

I placed the phone on the coffee table and sighed. The soothing scent of Bella's hair helped, but I wondered if I would ever be able to relax again.

One thing I knew for sure… Bella and I had a lot to talk about.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

I only got snatches of sleep throughout the early morning. Each time Bella so much as twitched, my arms instinctively tensed around her, and I was jolted awake. The thought she might disappear again was a nightmare I couldn't live through again.

She eventually started to stir, her fingers running through my hair. My stomach was in knots as I thought about the looming conversation we needed to have. I had to know she was in this with me… that she really wanted to be with me.

I didn't know what I would do if she said no.

"How about some breakfast?" I asked, rubbing her back. "Did you eat anything at all yesterday?"

"No," she whispered.

I sighed, realizing she was probably starving. I sat up, and she pulled back a little with downcast eyes. My fingers brushed her cheeks until she looked at me.

"Let's eat something… okay?"

She nodded and stood up. I grabbed her hand in mine before she walked away, and she sighed, her eyes focused down at our linked fingers.

_Did she think I didn't want her anymore?_

I couldn't have that.

I stopped, pulling her to me in a hug. She squeezed me back before I leaned down to give her a kiss. I framed her face with my hands, brushing her cheeks with my thumbs as I pressed my lips to hers.

"I love you, Bella," I said, happy to see her eyes brighten.

"I love you. So much."

We smiled at each other before continuing to the kitchen. The familiar rhythm was back, although our working in tandem was silent this time around. We put together our scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, and sat down together at the table.

The silence became deafening when we sat down, neither of us making the first move to talk. We both picked at our food, mostly pushing it around our plates. I couldn't stand the thick tension that had fallen around us.

"Why did you leave?" I blurted out. She put her fork on her plate and looked down at her lap. I took a deep breath before continuing. "Was it because of what my mother said?

She bit her trembling lip and slumped her shoulders.

"Please, Bella. Please look at me and talk to me. I love you, but I need to know what you're thinking. I need to know you're in this with me. I can't live wondering if you are going to disappear again." My voice broke, and I took a breath, trying to pull myself together. "It was the worst day of my life."

Her watery eyes met mine, and I reached for her hand.

"I'm so sorry I left like that," she started. "I realize now what a mistake it was. I should have talked to you first." She paused and took a couple deep breaths. "It wasn't just your mother. It was a culmination of a lot of things. I'm messed up. Are you really sure you want me?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'm just worried you don't want me the same way." It was my eyes that turned down this time.

Before I knew it, she was off her chair and straddling my lap. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I… I thought… it would be… better for you." She cried, stumbling over her words.

I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down again. I didn't want to upset her. I only wanted to know the truth. "Will you ever believe me when I say that _you_ are what's best for me?"

"I'm trying to," she whispered. "God, Edward, I love you. I just hope I'm enough… I pray that I'm enough."

"You_ are_," I told her firmly. "Why do you doubt that?" I put my fingers under her chin so she would look at me.

She blew a gust of air out the side of her mouth. "You'll get mad."

I shook my head and smiled at her. "Never. I told you that you could tell me anything."

"Well, of course it's all my past stuff."

"Do you mean Jake?" I asked, barely able to say that bastard's name.

She shook her head. "No, not just him. I mean _everything_. Look at you… at how you were brought up. I don't have any history. I don't have your education, your family, your means. I saw you the other night dancing with that girl… that _Tanya_. She looked like she belonged on your arm. I don't have any of that."

_Tanya?_

"All right, let's take that point by point… starting with Tanya. Yes, my mother wanted to see us together. But I assure you, even if you and I were not together, I would have zero interest in Tanya. I never did. She has nothing on you. You are warm, sweet, funny, interesting, and more beautiful than she could ever pay to be."

She started to protest, but I wouldn't let her get a word in.

"No, Bella. I know you don't see yourself as others do, but you are so beautiful, you make my head spin. You won't believe me, but I was stopped more than a few times the night of the benefit and asked who you were. I believe the words gorgeous, stunning, and out of your league were all used. Emmett can verify that."

She blushed. "You're ridiculous." At least she had a smile on her face.

"It's the truth, Miss Swan. Now for your education… well that is easily remedied. You can have all the education you want. Although, you can already argue me under the table with most every literary topic, and I have a masters' in literature."

I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear, admiring her pouty lips as she stared at me. The memory of our night together, being inside her, hit me hard. I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus on the things that needed to be discussed first.

"Then your final two points of contention were family and means. Well, those go hand-in-hand, don't they?" I asked, watching her eyebrow raise. "As I've told you before, I have all this through my family. I've been blessed and granted opportunities because of my last name. It was luck of being born a Cullen." I took a deep breath, crossing my fingers that my next words didn't blow up in my face. "Our children will be the same way."

As expected, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. A few chuckles left my lips before I could stop them.

"Our _what_?"

I shrugged and smiled. "Our children. I was hoping for two or three. How many kids do you want?"

"I… I… don't know," she stammered. She shook her head and looked down again.

_Please let this work. Please. Please. Please._

I wanted to sigh in relief when her shiny eyes met mine again with a huge smile.

"You want to have babies with me?" she asked softly.

"I want it all. I want babies. I want you to marry me. I want you to be a Cullen. I want to make a family with you."

Her lips crushed mine as she threw her arms back around my neck, and I laughed when the force of it almost knocked us backward in the chair. When she pulled back, her grin remained in place.

"Nobody's ever wanted me as part of their family since my parents died."

"_I_ do. My whole family wants you with me."

Her expression turned skeptical. "Except your mother."

I shook my head. "My mother included."

She still didn't believe me. It was understandable, I supposed.

"Okay, when I got up and found your note…" I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. Her eyes were sad, but she ran her fingers through my hair. "Well, I called Alice and Rose first thing, hoping maybe you'd contacted them or went there. That pretty much sent the whole family in a panic. I drove every inch of Chicago, and so did they. My mother called and begged me to let her help.

"Apparently, after my phone calls, everyone set her straight. Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper all made her realize the huge mistake she'd committed. When she met up with me downtown, she and I had a huge fight right in the middle of a sidewalk… well, it was more me yelling and her taking it. I think we drew a crowd, but I didn't care. She finally convinced me how sorry she was and joined me in the search. We went to every single shelter, store, restaurant, soup kitchen, church… basically looking in every building in the downtown area trying to find you. I understand if you can't forgive her—what she did was reprehensible—but for what it's worth, she's sorry. She understands I love you, and that I will stop at nothing to be with you."

I watched Bella's face as she considered my words. She finally gave me a small smile.

"You found Ruby," she said.

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, we found Ruby. I was a mess. She had to practically slap me so I could get the story out. I thought for sure you would be there with her, and when you weren't… I guess I kind of broke down." I shuddered from the memory.

She hugged me again. "I'm so sorry."

I kept going, wanting to get it all out in the open. "Anyway, I kept searching and wandering around until Dad, Emmett, and Jasper convinced me to stop for the night. It just hurt imagining you out there somewhere cold and in danger. When I pulled up to the house, I couldn't park in the garage. I debated driving back."

I hugged her tight, breathing in the scent of her hair until I calmed down.

"You have to promise me you won't ever do that again, Bella. No matter what. I won't be able to function if I'm always wondering if you're going to disappear."

"I won't. I promise I won't. You're stuck with me now."

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

After our breakfast talk, we both took showers and met again to snuggle in front of the tree.

"The snow's nice. We'll have a white Christmas," I said, watching the flakes come down out the front window.

"Yeah, it's pretty when I'm inside with your arms around me."

"I can't believe you walked all that way." I shook my head. "It's a wonder you don't have frostbite. I think I should check you over and make sure everything is in order."

She giggled when I tickled her and turned around to face me.

"I think that's a good idea, Mr. Cullen." Her husky voice grabbed my dick's full attention.

Her mouth was back on mine before I could say a word, and our kisses continued as our hands roamed. I moaned when her fingers gripped my hair. Eventually I had her pinned underneath me. I was ready to explode as her body writhed in anticipation.

"I think we should start practicing making those babies," I said between pants, pulling her shirt off.

She laughed, unbuttoning my jeans. "I want three."

"Baby, can I taste you?" I asked, tugging her pants down.

"Yes."

I took a second to admire her lying there in her black panties. I wanted to pull them off… with my teeth.

"Edward," she said, breaking into my thoughts of what was under that material.

"Huh?" I kissed her navel.

"The doorbell."

"Sure," I said, continuing to explore.

She tugged on my hair.

"No, the doorbell rang," she said louder.

_What the hell? What kind of cockblocking assclown was ringing my bell on Christmas Eve?_

I growled when it rang again, rubbing her thighs and nuzzling her through her panties with my nose.

Fuck whoever was at the door. She smelled too good.

"They'll go away," I said, teasing her with my tongue. I smiled when she moaned.

"It could be your family. You better check."

I reluctantly sat up, painfully adjusting myself as I buttoned my jeans. I wanted to weep when Bella started putting back on her clothes.

"We're returning to that later," I said, before dragging myself to the door.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

Later ended up being bedtime.

Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper showed up with food, and Bella was the cordial hostess. Despite my protests, they ended up staying most of the evening.

However, a couple of good things actually came out of their unexpected visit.

Bella had a good time, and I believed it helped her feel like part of the family. She even agreed to attend the official Cullen Christmas tomorrow at my parents' house.

Mother wisely stayed away and gave us this day to ourselves. She did send some things, which Alice delivered.

One was a personal letter to Bella. I didn't read it, but Bella's happy tears and smiles afterward assured me that my mother had taken some strides to make amends.

The second was for me… well, actually for me to give to Bella.

Any doubts I had about my mother's acceptance of Bella were laid to rest when Alice handed me the small velvet box containing my grandmother's engagement ring.

I thought Christmas would be the perfect setting to ask her to be my wife. I just had to figure out whether to tell her about the bookstore before or after I asked for her hand in marriage.

* * *

><p><strong>Only one more chapter left :) I'm kind of sad to see these characters go! Next up is Christmas at the Cullens. Have a safe and happy Christmas Eve!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12 A Partridge in a Pear Tree

**And a Partridge in a Pear Tree**

December 25

_~~~Bella~~~_

I yawned and opened my eyes, smiling at Edward draped over me. His face was buried in my neck, his arm wrapped around my body, and his leg tossed over both of mine. I knew it was going to take some time for him to believe I wouldn't leave again, so I didn't mind his sleeping position… he needed the security.

Besides, anytime I had a naked Edward pressed against me, I was a happy girl.

I knew I was taking a chance with my heart, handing it over completely to him, but knowing how it felt without him, I had to risk it all. He wanted me to be with him, to be a part of his family. It was the greatest gift he could have given me, and I only had to trust that it would never be taken away.

I was a little nervous about spending the day at his parents' house. Esme's letter to me had been apologetic and endearing, but there was always the chance she was simply appeasing the rest of her family and didn't truly mean her repentant and thoughtful words. I was determined that no matter what happened, I would fight to remain by Edward's side. He would have to order me away before I ever left him again.

He shifted in his sleep, releasing a small moan and tightening his embrace. I smiled, wondering what he dreamed about. He had kept his promise last night, picking up where we had left off on the couch before his family arrived.

I bit my lip remembering the way it felt with his mouth on me. When he asked to taste me, he really meant it. I had never felt anything like that before.

The things he could do with his tongue.

Wow.

Amazing.

Unbelievable.

My entire body shivered and my toes curled just from the memory of it, and I wondered how soon before he would do that again. He should have a warning label attached to him cautioning users of his addictive properties.

_Users?_

No.

I would be the only user… ever. Nobody would ever touch my Edward again, except for me.

I shook my head and laughed at myself.

_Where were these possessive feelings coming from?_

Since I had made the decision that he was it for me, I was going to make sure _I_ was it for _him_.

My hand traveled up his arm, rubbed his shoulder, and trailed down his back. He made a sound against my neck, and I held back from chuckling out loud. When my fingers reached his butt and squeezed a little, he started to wake up.

"Naughty girl," he mumbled, his fingers already roaming.

"Mmm," I hummed as he sucked on my neck and pressed himself against my thigh.

His leg that had been pinning both of mine to the bed suddenly nudged them apart.

"Good morning," he said roughly in my ear. "Are you ready for one of your Christmas presents?"

"What's that?"

_Ahhh, his fingers!_

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the way he stroked me up and down.

"First my fingers."

He slowly slid one inside me.

"Then my tongue."

He licked a path up the slope of my neck.

"And last my dick."

He pressed into my side again, making sure I felt how hard he was.

"Three orgasms before breakfast… does that sound good?"

I mumbled some type of consent, since I was no longer able to speak understandable words.

Edward Cullen sure knew how to give gifts.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

After my three servings of orgasms straight up, I showered and hurried downstairs to bake some cookies to take with us. They told me yesterday not to bring anything, but I didn't want to show up completely empty-handed. It was going to be awkward enough that I hadn't gotten anyone any presents.

Let alone the fact I was the newly-reformed, previously homeless person in love with the beloved Cullen son.

I had to bring _something_.

I baked several dozen butterscotch oatmeal cookies, frequently slapping Edward's thieving fingers away. After wrapping them up and changing into my most respectable blouse and slacks, Edward and I were on our way.

"You're awfully quiet over there," he said, reaching for my hand as we drove.

I was definitely nervous, yet I also felt excited. It felt like maybe I really had found where I belonged… with who I belonged.

My _family_.

I squeezed his hand and smiled. "I'm happy to be with _you_. I guess I'm counting my blessings." When I glanced back out my window, I realized we weren't going in the right direction. "Where are we going?"

"We have to make one stop first."

"We're going to be late."

"Nah, there's no set schedule. We have plenty of time. It won't take very long anyway."

For some reason, I didn't picture Esme being as casual about timing as Edward implied, but I held my tongue.

We pulled up in front of a deserted strip of shops, everything closed for Christmas. I recognized the bookstore as the one he and I had visited a few days ago. I looked over at Edward, who had a huge grin on his face.

"Nothing's open today," I said, wondering what was going on.

He didn't say a word, just got out of the car and walked around to my door. He opened it and held his hand out for me to take. "Come on. I have something to show you."

I took his hand and walked with him to the front door of the bookstore. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a set of keys with a red bow attached to them, placing them in my hand.

"What are these?" I asked.

"They're for you. Open the door."

_Did he arrange for some private Christmas day shopping?_

I had no idea what was happening, but I opened the door, and we walked in. I turned around and stared at him with curiosity.

"Merry Christmas," he said.

I glanced around for a hidden present or something to clue me in.

"Edward, what are you talking about? I don't get it."

"This is the second part of your presents. You—actually _we_—are half owners of this bookstore. You and Laura are going to run it if you'd like."

I needed a crane to lift my jaw off the floor. I shook my head trying to process his words.

_He bought me a bookstore?_

I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

_Should I be thankful? Angry? Flattered? Upset? Happy?_

We stood there just staring at one another for a few minutes.

"Bella?" he asked softly, like he was trying to call a cat out of a tree.

"You… bought… me… a… bookstore," I clarified slowly.

"Yeah?" An undertone of fear was present in his voice.

The man was so ridiculously infuriating and sweet at the same time. He never did anything halfway… that was for sure. I didn't know if I wanted to conk him on top of his head, or strip him naked and pull him down to the floor. I looked around at all the beautiful shelves of books and bit my lip. It was perfect. It was small and intimate, close to the house, and already carried a vast collection.

_But…_

"I can't accept this," I said. "It's too much."

He walked over and hugged me. "I knew you were going to say that. It isn't really possible for me to return it, though, so I hope you'll reconsider. In fact, why don't you just hold off on any decisions until after you get gift three?"

_Gift three?_

"What? Did you buy Texas and rename it after me?"

He chuckled and squeezed tighter. "No, but I'd try if that was what you wanted."

I shook my head. I had no idea what to do with this man.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"Ho, ho, ho!" Emmett shouted, opening the door when we arrived.

I was immediately snatched up in a bear hug, and I frantically handed over the cookies to Edward before they were smashed.

"Put her down, asshole!" Edward shouted.

Emmett set me down with a grin before grabbing Edward and putting him in a head-lock.

"My cookies!" I cried, grabbing them back from Edward's hands.

The two of them cursed like sailors and wrestled around on the ground for a minute. I could only stand to the side and gawk.

"Victorious!" Emmett jumped up and raised his arms in a V over his head.

"You cheat," Edward muttered, taking a bit longer to get to his feet.

"I absolutely do not cheat. It's not my fault you are weak and scrawny," Emmett said, turning to me. "Did I hear something about cookies?"

I smiled warily, but was saved by Rose before he got to the stash.

"Bella, come with me. I'm sure you've had enough of these idiots."

I nodded and followed her to the kitchen. As we passed through the house, I was amazed at how beautiful it was. Everything was elegantly decorated, yet it wasn't overwhelming. It was almost welcoming in its perfection.

Esme greeted us when we walked in, and my heart beat fast as I held out the cookies for her.

_Please let her accept them… me._

She gave me a warm, but apologetic smile, taking the cookies and setting them on the counter.

"Thank you, Bella. They look terrific," she said. "Would you mind if I spoke to you privately for a moment?"

I shook my head and looked at Edward, who had trailed us to the kitchen and stood behind me. I let him know it was fine and followed Esme into another room. She patted a spot next to her on a loveseat, and I sat down. I forced myself to breathe, and kept my shaking hands on my knees for support.

"You read my letter?" she asked softly.

I nodded and met her eyes. "Yes."

"I guess I wanted to pull you aside and assure you I meant every word. I'm very sorry for the things I said at Edward's that night. There's no excuse for my behavior. At the heart of it, I was worried for my son. That doesn't make it acceptable, though. I don't expect you to forgive me easily, but I hope one day you will." She placed a hand over one of mine. "My Edward loves you so much. I was blind not to pay attention and see it. You love him, too?"

"Yes, more than anything."

She smiled and then shocked me by pulling me to her in a hug. "Oh, honey. I'm just sick for saying those things. I know I can't erase them from your mind, but I will spend every day making it up to you. Welcome to the family." She pulled back and had tears in her eyes. "Okay, I've kept you captive long enough. You better go find Edward. I need to get back to the kitchen and make sure everything's in order."

She chuckled and stood, walking toward the doorway.

"Esme," I called out. She turned back toward me. "Can I help?"

Her answering smile could have lit ten rooms.

~~~*~~~TDoC~~~*~~~

"Emmett, would you sit down!" Rose yelled.

We gathered in the living room after the early dinner, and Emmett played Santa Claus handing out presents. He had more energy than anyone I'd ever seen.

"Almost done, Rosie. Just a couple more left. Yes… here's another one for Little B. and one for Dad. I think that's it," he said, dutifully taking his seat next to Rose.

Edward had his arm around me as we sat on a sofa and shook his head at his brother. Alice winked at me from her spot across the room. I was shocked at the pile of gifts in front of me.

_When did they even have time to shop?_

"So, are we going in reverse age order?" Carlisle asked, making everyone laugh.

I was still floored from Carlisle pulling me aside earlier in the evening. He made sure I knew the family was frantic when I left, and that I mattered to them all. When he told me how happy I made his son, I really felt like I was part of the family.

I snuggled into Edward, enjoying the dynamic around me. I'd never seen anything like it.

"Whatever, old man! Kids get to go first," Emmett joked to his dad.

"It's alphabetical order, like always," Alice claimed.

"Reverse alphabetical order," Rose said with a grin.

"As the newest member of this crazy family, it's up to Bella," Esme announced, looking over at me with a smile.

Edward's arm practically crushed me, and my heart fluttered. I knew I was probably blushing bright red.

"Um… reverse age, I guess," I said softly. I bit my lip and laughed when all of the _kids_ grumbled.

"I love you already," Carlisle told me, before ripping into his presents.

I watched with glee as the wrapping and bows flew into piles everywhere. Each person took their turns, and I got to admire the funny and thoughtful gifts.

"I can't believe you bought me this!" Alice shrieked at Emmett, holding up an anatomically-correct doll.

"Em used to draw penises on all her dolls, whether they were boys or girls," Edward explained.

"She was only four, and I had to have the birds and bees discussion!" Esme cried.

The whole family was laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes. I watched and listened with amusement as the gift unwrapping halted several times and old stories and inside jokes were told and explained to me.

I'd never felt like I belonged anywhere… until now.

When it was my turn, I tore into the gifts with as much enthusiasm as everyone else. I ended up with enough clothes for ten people, tons of books, and even a cell phone.

"I think that's all," I said, pushing aside the mountain of paper.

"Not everything."

I furrowed my brow at Edward, wondering what he meant. He cleared some space on the floor in front of me and knelt down.

"Bella, my life changed the second your eyes met mine over a vat of mashed potatoes," he said with a grin.

I giggled in response, still not sure what he had up his sleeve.

"You are my soulmate… of that I'm sure. I know we haven't known each other long, but I do know you're the one for me. I've always been searching for meaning in my life, for something more. Never have I been sure of my path until now. Until _you_."

He pulled out a small velvet box, and realization flowed over me. I tried to remember to breathe, but it was hard. My eyes blurred with tears as I stared down at the exquisite diamond ring.

"I love you. I will always love you. Would you consider officially making us a family? Will you marry me?"

Every wall I'd built as a defense from my past came crashing down.

He wanted me and I wanted him. He was _all_ I ever wanted.

"Yes," I said, not able to hold back my sob.

As soon as he slipped the ring on my finger, I flew at him. We landed in a pile of wrapping paper, ignoring the applause of the rest of the family.

All I saw was him.

"I love you." I sealed my statement with a kiss.

His eyes shined as I looked down at him.

"You have to accept the bookstore now, Mrs. Cullen," he said.

I could only laugh while the rest of the family asked each other what he meant by bookstore.

I never knew twelve days could change someone's life so dramatically, but my new life really started this day.

I never wanted to look back again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow! These twelve days flew by.<strong>

**I again want to thank Pam, Julie, Kaia, and Stephanie for all pre-reading they did.**

**Big, huge hugs and wet kisses for Perry Maxwell and Bookishqua. They had to deal with my anxiety and tendency to procrastinate pretty much each night for the last twelve days. If you haven't read their stories yet, I highly recommend you do. Their profile links are both under my favorite authors list.**

**I've had a lot of requests for story continuation and/or futuretakes. I'm considering it and will probably come back to it at some point after my AH WIP Fated Love is finished. Let me know if you have requests for outtakes or if you'd like to see these characters again in the future.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews and love for this story!**

**Have a safe and happy holiday season and Merry Christmas :)**


End file.
